Friday, January 15, 2016
Why Ringo is the best ex-Beatle
Or should we say, "better" ex-Beatle? Since there are only two left (my math isn't THAT bad).
Why doesn't anyone ever mention how great Ringo looks? In his youth, he was the most awkward-looking of the group. Girls loved him because they wanted to mother him. He was a solid journeyman drummer, but nothing special, so what did he add to the group? Vulnerability, naivete, and an appealing homeliness.
Now he has aged into his features and clearly kicks ass, outstripping Paul (who has had a little work done, obviously). Not only that: say the name Paul and no one knows which Paul you mean, but Ringo. . .
Biblioclasm: or, what happened to all my books?
THESE ILLUSTRATIONS OF UNUSUAL WORDS ARE AMAZING
BY AILSA ROSS
JANUARY 10, 2016
YOUR ENGLISH TEACHER PROBABLY TOLD you to steer clear of flowery language, but how great would it be if words like ‘ultracrepidarian’ (a person who gives opinions and advice on matters outside of one’s knowledge) came back into common parlance? These visual interpretations of unusual words, by Project Twins, are amazing. Here’s your A-Z rundown.
1
Acersecomic
Acersecomic: A person whose hair has never been cut.
2
Biblioclasm
Biblioclasm: The practice of destroying, often ceremoniously, books or other written material and media.
3
Cacodemonomania
Cacodemonomania: The pathological belief that one is inhabited by an evil spirit.
4
Dactylion
Dactylion: An anatomical landmark located at the tip of the middle finger.
5
Enantiodromia
Enantiodromia: The conversion of something into its opposite.
6
Fanfaronade
Fanfaronade: Swaggering; empty boasting; blustering manner or behavior; ostentatious display.
7
Gorgonize
Gorgonize: To have a paralysing or mesmerising effect on: Stupefy or Petrify.
8
Hamartia
Hamartia: The character flaw or error of a tragic hero that leads to his downfall.
9
Infandous
Infandous: Unspeakable or too odious to be expressed or mentioned.
10
Jettatura
Jettatura: The casting of an evil eye.
11
Ktenology
Ktenology: The science of putting people to death.
12
Leptosome
Leptosome: A person with a slender, thin, or frail body.
13
Montivagant
Montivagant: Wandering over hills and mountains.
14
Noegenesis
Noegenesis: Production of knowledge.
15
Ostentiferous
Ostentiferous: Bringing omens or unnatural or supernatural manifestations.
16
Pogonotrophy
Pogonotrophy: The act of cultivating, or growing and grooming, a mustache, beard, sideburns or other facial hair.
17
Quockerwodger
Quockerwodger: A rare nineteenth-century word for a wooden toy which briefly became a political insult.
18
Recumbentibus
Recumbentibus: A knockout punch, either verbal or physical.
19
Scripturient
Scripturient: Possessing a violent desire to write.
20
Tarantism
Tarantism: A disorder characterised by an uncontrollable urge to dance.
21
Ultracrepidarian
Ultracrepidarian: A person who gives opinions and advice on matters outside of one’s knowledge.
22
Vernalagnia
Vernalagnia: A romantic mood brought on by Spring.
23
Welter
Welter: A confused mass; a jumble; turmoil or confusion.
24
Xenization
Xenization: The act of traveling as a stranger.
25
Yonderly
Yonderly: Mentally or emotionally distant; absent-minded.
26
Zugzwang
Zugzwang: A position in which any decision or move will result in problem
P. S. These are not "mine", but quoted from somewhere else. Some Facebook-y thing, which quoted somebody who was quoting somebody else (links provided). I could post a link to the original, but nobody would follow it because my links are shit. So I hereby disown these. They have GOT to be more interesting than that godawful post rating the danger of dollar store products, but their sheer ubiquity (and I only posted them from A - M!) made them irresistible. These, though - I know what "welter" is, they threw that one in to keep us from slapping ourselves on the forehead with frustration and despair, but the rest - I sort of know some of them, and the rest of them - come ON, people, we know these aren't real words!
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Death is not the end
Alan Rickman died, and though I was not a particular fan, I could not help but be aware of him. The fact that, like Bowie, he died in his 60s casts a chill, particularly in light of a chilling phone call I just got, with some medical test results that are Not Good, and perhaps not good At All.
There's a poem going around that Alan Rickman read at Robyn Hitchcock's 50th birthday party (not that I have any idea who HE is), and it's called Death is Not The End. I looked it up, and - sorry, I hated it, though I am sure that, as with Auden's splendid Funeral Blues, it'll be read at many a celebration-of-life-let's-pretend-he-isn't-dead-so-we-don't-ever-have-to-feel-any-grief blowout until the next thingie comes along. Sorry to be so cynical, but that's just how I feel. Death and its trappings are yet another fad to be tweeted about, then quickly forgotten.
Then I found this poem/lyric with the same title, only it was written by old Mr. Saddle Leather himself, Bob Dylan. This starts off well enough, almost sappily, but slowly becomes more - what, dysphoric? Dysphoric is a good term. By the end of the thing we have a miniature dystopia, if not a kind of teacup apocalypse complete with looting, raping, and mindless destruction. It's typical Dylan in that if you blow through it quickly, you won't get the full impact. Each verse adds another layer of hopelessness and doom until the city is ablaze, choked with the greasy black smoke of burning human flesh:
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned -
Death is Not The End
Lyrics by Bob Dylan
from Down In The Groove
When you're sad and when you're lonely
And you haven't got a friend
Just remember that death is not the end
And all that you held sacred
Falls down and does not mend
Just remember that death is not the end
Not the end, not the end
Just remember that death is not the end
When you're standin' on their crossroads
That you cannot comprehend
Just remember that death is not the end
And all your dreams have vanished
And you don't know what's up the bend
Just remember that death is not the end
Not the end, not the end
Just remember that death is not the end
When the storm clouds gather round you
And heavy rains descend
Just remember that death is not the end
And there's no one there to comfort you
With a helpin' hand to lend
Just remember that death is not the end
Not the end, not the end
Just remember that death is not the end
Oh, the tree of life is growing
Where the spirit never dies
And the bright light of salvation shines
In dark and empty skies
When the cities are on fire
With the burnin' flesh of men
Just remember that death is not the end
And you search in vain to find
Just one law abiding citizen
Just remember that death is not the end
Not the end, not the end
Just remember that death is not the end
Not the end, not the end
Just remember that death is not the end
POST-BLOG. Late at night, as always, and wondering what it all Means, if anything. I went from the death of a celeb I barely recognized, to (unconsciously, at first) anxiety about two deaths of celebrities who were ONLY in their 60s, when I am ONLY in mine, to - that phone call - damn that phone call, but it might be nothing. Probably is, nothing is ever wrong with me, is there? It's just a test result.
When slowly sinking into the desperation of this lyric, which like a lot of Dylan is deceptively simple (if not downright deceptive - it's saying something like, don't worry if the end of the world is coming, because there's a lot more where that came from), a few things came to mind, and I made a few gifs - I like moving illustrations best, and in the first draft I captioned them so it would be clear what they Meant. Then I redid them without captions, because captions look goofy and are best kept for really stupid or crazy ones. But the meaning might (?) be clear according to the three movies cited: Soylent Green ("Soylent Green is people!"), Planet of the Apes ("Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!") and Apocalypse Now ("I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like. . . victory.") Just a few of my dystopic, dysphoric, apocalyptic favorites.
When slowly sinking into the desperation of this lyric, which like a lot of Dylan is deceptively simple (if not downright deceptive - it's saying something like, don't worry if the end of the world is coming, because there's a lot more where that came from), a few things came to mind, and I made a few gifs - I like moving illustrations best, and in the first draft I captioned them so it would be clear what they Meant. Then I redid them without captions, because captions look goofy and are best kept for really stupid or crazy ones. But the meaning might (?) be clear according to the three movies cited: Soylent Green ("Soylent Green is people!"), Planet of the Apes ("Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!") and Apocalypse Now ("I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like. . . victory.") Just a few of my dystopic, dysphoric, apocalyptic favorites.
Demon Possessed Singing Trout
So anyways, it's late at night and I'm doing my usual YouTubey things, when I realize I've been doing those playlist thingies all wrong. You have to click on the BOTTOM one and then you get a whole bunch MORE of them on top. I wondered why it would say there were 562 videos, and I'd only get 39. So now I have about a zillion new videos under the category of Worst Thing I Ever Saw On Public Access TV. This was a standout. I have a singing lobster which I only bring out at Christmas, but he can more-or-less still sing. This is much more fun.
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
A real Craigslist ad? Or a fake Craigslist ad? You decide.
I work in the oilfield (mid 20’s) and have no time to date so I’m looking for a homeless girl that wants a place to stay . You do not need to work just cook clean and bedroom fun. I want someone I can chill with watch movies with and play PS4 with and gamer girls are a plus. You go from the streets to a big comfortable bed , hot bubble baths , and good food and a person to cuddle with on the couch. I want a girl to take to movies walks in the park , and to share hot coco with when the winter comes. You must be drug free and willing to stay that way. I have a high sex drive and love to cuddle. If this sounds like something you would be willing to try please send a couple pics to prove you are real and put the word “Home” in the title. You must swallow. I am real and it has been a little rainy lately, in fact it’s raining right now and all weekend!! Any RACE is fine under 25 preferred. Any older than that and you’ll come with an attitude and blame me for your situation…..!! Hope to hear from you soon. Thanks.
The only thing that seems suspicious here is that he doesn't mention body size. If he really meant this, he'd specify "must be between 5'6" and 5'8" in heels and under 115 pounds". So this is obviously concocted. It did stir up a lot of concern among law enforcement when it first appeared, who for some reason didn't think this stuff is a laughing matter. And it isn't. There's this utterly repellent sense that this "homeless girl" should be grateful for this wonderful opportunity to get in out of the rain. For the price of a few blowjobs and whatever other sexual stuff he wants, plus doing all the cooking and cleaning and washing his stinking underwear, you get all this: hot bubble baths, "coco", playing mindless video games, and lots and lots of cuddling on the sofa. What's worst about this thing, though, is the fact that it might even be real, and there might be people desperate enough to reply.
I think I'm going to be sick.
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
The stars look very different today
Ground Control to Major Tom
Ground Control to Major Tom
Take your protein pills and put your helmet on
Ground Control to Major Tom (Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six)
Commencing countdown, engines on (Five, Four, Three)
Check ignition and may God's love be with you (Two, One, Liftoff)
This is Ground Control to Major Tom
You've really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare
This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today
For here
Am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do
Though I'm past one hundred thousand miles
I'm feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much she knows
Ground Control to Major Tom
Your circuit's dead, there's something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you
Here am I floating round my tin can
Far above the Moon
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do
At the Dollar Store: do you know what you're buying?
Sample Listing - danger levels of various Dollar Store products (A - M)
1 Inch Poly Binder
LOW
10 Piece Storage Set
LOW
100 Mini Lights
HIGH
3 Pack Squeeze Ducks
HIGH
3 Ring Binder
LOW
50 Mini Indoor Lights
HIGH
5pc Formula Car
HIGH
60 in. Micro USB Cable
HIGH
8 Beaded Necklaces
MEDIUM
Adhesive Gem Strips
HIGH
Adult Poncho
LOW
Artificial Nail Set
HIGH
Auto Bucket
LOW
Avengers Assemble Backpack
HIGH
B'Loonies
LOW
Baby Bottle
LOW
Barrettes - Set of 8
MEDIUM
Baseball Base Set
LOW
Bath Toys
HIGH
Bath Tub Appliques
HIGH
Bathtub Fingerpaint Set
HIGH
Beaded Necklace
MEDIUM
Beads Perles
LOW
Beads Perles #2
LOW
Book Cover
MEDIUM
Bowling Set
LOW
Boxing Gloves
HIGH
Bracelet and Earrings with Brown Jewel
MEDIUM
Cancer Awareness Accessories HOPE
HIGH
Cars Bread Shaped Container
LOW
Christmas Straws
LOW
Christmas Window Clings
HIGH
Christmas Window Clings - Santas
HIGH
Clip-On Heart Earrings
MEDIUM
Clip-On Jewelry
HIGH
Coffee Shop
LOW
Cookie Tray Kit
LOW
Custom Grip
HIGH
Die-Cast Metal Hand Cuffs
HIGH
Double Sided Earrings
HIGH
Earrings Large Round Textured Edges 9 Pair
HIGH
Earrings Oval 9 Pair
HIGH
Earrings Small Round 12 Pair
LOW
Earrings Small Round Smooth Edges 9 Pair
LOW
Extension Cord 9 ft
HIGH
Extremely Me Blue Necklace and Earrings Set
MEDIUM
Extremely Me Dream Necklace and Earrings Set
MEDIUM
Eyeshadow
MEDIUM
Fairies
HIGH
Fairy Garden Blooms Placemat
MEDIUM
Fairy Magic Placemat
HIGH
Fantasy Dress-Up Set
HIGH
Fashion Doll
HIGH
Fashion Earrings - 3 Pairs
MEDIUM
Fashion Girl Doll Black Hair
HIGH
Fashion Girl Doll Blonde Hair
HIGH
Fashion Jewelry - 3 Skulls
HIGH
Fashion Jewelry - Silver Bracelet with Red Jewels
MEDIUM
Fashion Necklace - Lucky Star
HIGH
Fashion Stylist
HIGH
Favors Surprises
MEDIUM
Flannel Back Tablecover
HIGH
Flannel Back Tablecover with Snowmen
HIGH
Flower Earrings
MEDIUM
Garden Knee Pad
HIGH
Gel Sticker Clings
NONE
Glitter 4 Girls Tattoos
LOW
Glitter Backpack Keychain
HIGH
Glow in the Dark Fun Glasses
LOW
Gold Chain and Earrings Set
MEDIUM
Green and Pink Flip-Flops
HIGH
Green Binder
LOW
Green Bowl
LOW
Grip Liner
HIGH
Grow Creature
HIGH
Haunted Tattoos
LOW
Headbands
HIGH
Heart Necklaces
HIGH
High Shine Nail Polish
LOW
Ice Rings
LOW
Infinity Beaded Bracelet - Bow
HIGH
Infinity Beaded Bracelet - Cross
HIGH
Infinity Beaded Bracelet - Heart
MEDIUM
Inflatable Dinosaur
HIGH
Interchangeable Hairgoods
HIGH
Jelly Clear Clog
HIGH
Jelly Clear Clog 2
HIGH
Jewelry Set
LOW
Juice Squeezer
LOW
Jumbo Necklace Gold Clock
LOW
Jumpin' Frogs
HIGH
Just Be Earrings
HIGH
Keychain Wallet
HIGH
Krazy Straw Mason
MEDIUM
Ladies' Handbag
HIGH
Latex Coated Palm Work Gloves
HIGH
Li'l Playdate Pal
HIGH
Lipgloss Wand and Comb Set
LOW
Mermaid Sirene
HIGH
Mini Appetizer Spoons
LOW
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