Why Ryan is such an awesome kid!

For one thing, he plays a trombone that's bigger than he is. He could've played clarinet in band - even a trumpet - saxophone, those are cool - but no. It had to be trombone.

Playing an instrument like this is hazardous. Musicians are vulnerable to certain kinds of injuries, and this one was particularly painful. While putting his instrument together, his hand was literally pinched in the slide, necessitating a trip to Emergency. There was just one problem. . . his Taekwondo red belt test was in a couple of days. Obviously he'd have to cancel. This is a very big deal because the whole class takes the test together, and it's a rite of passage for them.

But let's not forget, this is Ryan, the Taekwondo Kid! Here he is ace-ing his test, a private test as it turned out, making it much more dramatic (and filmable - you usually can't pick them out of the herd). It has a sort of Karate Kid/Pat Morita/wax-on-wax-off vibe to it.

Breaking the board. And overcoming considerable adversity at the same time. So bow to the new red belt champion. Way to go, Ry!

And here he is getting ready to play his trombone at the school Christmas concert. 

Special bonus gif: Ryan singing in the choir.

After searching fruitlessly (saxophone poem)

AFTER SEARCHING FRUITLESSLY FOR A POEM BY BILLY COLLINS CALLED THE INVENTION OF THE SAXOPHONE, THE AUTHOR TAKES IT UPON HERSELF TO WRITE ONE OF HER OWN

i don’t know who invented this

reflexive question mark of an instrument

but i think it was a good thing

for it’s great to look at,

with fat keys like frog eyes
and a big bell like royal jelly
you could keep flowers in there if you wanted to,
extra socks
or even a clock

Snakes kink too

and this sound is snakey
purply mauve as the deepest bruise
and raunchy
as a man in love

smoked as some cat of the night

disappearing over a fence
it makes leaps
(but only because it has to)

There is no

morning saxophone

this is a sound that

pulls the shades down

a hangover

howl

fading to twilight

or the blackmost

belly button
of the night

Few can wrap their lips around

this gooseneck
without some harm coming to them
for this is an instrument
with a long history of
hollowing out
all but the most hardy

Bird flew into a pane

of glass and was
smashed

we don’t know why it does this to people

(maybe it was mad at him
for taking it all to such extremes)

but how could you blow this thing

halfway

i ask you

how could you rear back

in some great pained whiplash of the spine
without a sense of
terrible commitment

i never much cared for

saxophones myself

until i heard one blown correctly at last

jazz is a genre i will never understand
but perhaps that’s good
for like the priesthood, one must enter into it

without question

reservation
or doubt