Turning Halloween

1

TURNING JAPANESE  (The Vapors, 1980)

I've got your picture of me and you

You wrote "I love you" I wrote "me too"

I sit there staring and there's nothing else to do

Oh it's in color

Your hair is brown

Your eyes are hazel and soft as clouds

I often kiss you when there's no one else around

I've got your picture

I've got your picture

I'd like a million of you all round my cell

I want a doctor to take your picture

So I can look at you from inside as well

You've got me turning up and turning down

And turning in and turning 'round

I'm turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

Turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

I'm turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

Turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

I've got your picture

I've got your picture

I'd like a million of them all round my cell

I want the doctor to take a picture

So I can look at you from inside as well

You've got me turning up

And turning down and turning in and turning 'round

I'm turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

Turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

I'm turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

Turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women

No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark

Everyone around me is a total stranger

Everyone avoids me like a cyclone ranger

That's why I'm turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

Turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

I'm turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

Turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

Turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

Turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

Turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

(think so think so think so)

Turning Japanese

I think I'm turning Japanese

I really think so

NOTE. I have no idea what this song means. In actuality it has about two verses, though it seems to go on forever. I first heard it on SCTV on the Jerry Todd Show, with Rick Moranis crooning those strange lyrics (pronouncing it "Japa-NEESE"). I thought it was racist and stupid, but since it was on SCTV I more or less forgave it. Then I forgot it. More or less.

THEN, a billion years later I see this Value Village ad for used Halloween costumes, with a song and dance number called Turning Halloween! I recognized it from somewhere. Turning, what, something else? Ah! Of course. Turning Japa-NEESE!

So now I find out that the original was by a British group called The Vapors, and as far as I am concerned it iS sort of racist, or at least damn stupid, so I don't know why I'm posting it except that no one else seems to think so. And the Value Village ad is way cool.

It's December the first: let's have a party in my rec room

Seeing these guys again is like visiting old friends. I was an SCTV fanatic for many years, starting with their humble beginnings in Edmonton, Alberta (I swear the hot tub scene in that Joan Crawford sendup was filmed at the Edmonton Inn), then soaring to great heights on American national TV. Seldom has a comedy ensemble worked so well. Never noticed the saxophone growing out of Rick Moranis' head before.

http://members.shaw.ca/margaret_gunning/betterthanlife.htm