Thursday, December 11, 2014

What's lower than zero? Worst movies ever made




And here it is: Rotten Tomatoes' list of movies with a zero rating. I've seen some of these, and while many are just plain bad, some (Leprechaun 4: In Space; Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer) are of the "so bad they're good" variety. Because I am sure you will want to know more about these movies, each title links to a Wikipedia entry. Did you think I went to a lot of trouble? I did. Nothing is too good for you, my darling readers: I go to the grocery store for you; I get up in the morning for you; most especially, I go on Facebook and tell the world how fabulous I am, JUST FOR YOU. You are almost as good as real people. In many ways, you are superior, because I don't have to look at your vapid face all the time and get tired of it.

I don't know how many of these there are, because I haven't counted. I got too tired out making gifs of They Saved Hitler's Brain, something I've been wanting to do for over 40 years. Can't get through them all? Then don't.




NameYear# ReviewsRef
A Farewell to Arms195710[5]
They Saved Hitler's Brain19635[6]
Manos: The Hands of Fate196611[7]
Gator19765[8]
Empire of the Ants197716[9]
The Bad News Bears Go to Japan197815[10]
The Villain19797[11]
Heartbeeps19815[12]
Megaforce198212[13]
Zapped!198213[14]
Staying Alive198324[15]
The Lonely Lady198310[16]
Amityville 3-D198317[17]
That Was Then... This Is Now19855[18]
Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer19856[19]
American Ninja19855[20]
8 Million Ways to Die19867[21]
Rad19865[22]
Deadly Friend19867[23]
Firewalker198610[24]
King Kong Lives19869[25]
Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol198718[26]
House II: The Second Story19879[27]
Jaws: The Revenge198731[28]
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie198711[29]
Return of the Living Dead Part II198815[30]
Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach19886[31]
Johnny Be Good198811[32]
Mac and Me198823[33]
The Toxic Avenger Part II19898[34]
Police Academy 6: City Under Siege19897[35]
The Horror Show19897[36]
Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland19896[37]
Heart Condition19907[38]
Loose Cannons199017[39]
Madhouse19905[40]
The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter19906[41]
Highlander 2: The Quickening199123[42]
Return to the Blue Lagoon199130[43]
All I Want for Christmas199113[44]
Once Upon a Crime19926[45]
Prom Night IV: Deliver Us from Evil19926[46]
Deadfall19935[47]
Look Who's Talking Now!199323[48]
Benefit of the Doubt19935[49]
Car 54, Where Are You?199414[50]
Leprechaun 2199415[51]
It's Pat: The Movie199411[52]
Wagons East!199429[53]
Jury Duty199512[54]
Leprechaun 319955[55]
A Pyromaniac's Love Story199510[56]
National Lampoon's Senior Trip19957[57]
The Big Green19955[58]
Big Bully19968[59]
Ed199616[60]
Plump Fiction19965[61]
Leprechaun 4: In Space19976[62]
Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas19977[63]
Lulu on the Bridge19988[64]
Slappy & the Stinkers19985[65]
Simon Sez199919[66]
Shark Attack19995[67]
The Suburbans199910[68]
Foolish199916[69]
3 Strikes200029[70]
Heavy Metal 200020009[71]
De Sade20016[72]
Teddy Bears' Picnic200219[73]
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever2002115[74]
Cinderella II: Dreams Come True20028[75]
Merci Docteur Rey200222[76]
Pinocchio200255[77]
K-9: P.I.20026[78]
Killing Me Softly200322[79]
The Singing Forest20039[80]
Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2200445[81]
Sex Lives of the Potato Men200413[82]
Mulan II20045[83]
Constellation200520[84]
The Truth About Love200511[85]
Kronk's New Groove20056[86]
I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer20066[87]
Karla200612[88]
The Fox and the Hound 220068[89]
The All Together200710[90]
Redline200727[91]
Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour200712[92]
Scar200718[93]
One Missed Call200879[94]
House200812[95]
Cover200812[96]
Long Weekend20085[97]
Strange Wilderness200844[98]
Sagan200811[99]
A Beautiful Life200812[100]
Surfer, Dude200818[101]
Echelon Conspiracy200912[102]
Super Capers200917[103]
City Rats200910[104]
S. Darko20097[105]
Home20095[106]
Homecoming200924[107]
Transylmania200919[108]
Stolen200920[109]
Shank201010[110]
Fred: The Movie201013[111]
Pimp201013[112]
Space Chimps 2: Zartog Strikes Back20108[113]
Kalamity201017[114]
Father of Invention201015[115]
The Last Seven20108[116]
The Nutcracker in 3D201030[117]
Raajneeti20105[118]
An Invisible Sign201115[119]
A Heartbeat Away201113[120]
The Abduction of Zack Butterfield20117[121]
Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star201135[122][123]
The Undefeated201115[124]
Mercenaries20117[125]
Playback20125[126]
The Perfect Age of Rock 'n' Roll201114[127]
World of the Dead: The Zombie Diaries 220117[128]
Swinging with the Finkels201119[129]
Run for Your Wife201215[130]
That's What She Said201211[131]
Confession of a Child of the Century201211[132]
Keith Lemon: The Film201212[133]
Elfie Hopkins201215[134]
Generation Um...201215[135]
A Thousand Words201254[136]
Last Ounce of Courage201215[137]
Four Lovers201210[138]
General Education201214[139]
Dark Tide201219[140]
Assassin's Bullet201214[141]
For the Love of Money20127[142]
Sir Billi20125[143]
InAPPropriate Comedy20135[144]
The Starving Games201310[145]
Stranded201315[146]
American Milkshake20135[147]
Antisocial20136[148]
Mission Park20135[149]
Once Upon a Time in Brooklyn20136[150]
I Spit on Your Grave 220137[151]
10 Rules for Sleeping Around20147[152]
War of the Worlds: Goliath20145[153]
Best Night Ever201413[154]
Persecuted201413[155]
Pudsey the Dog: The Movie201412[156]
Behaving Badly201412[157]
Cam2Cam20145[158]
I Am Happiness on Earth20145[159]
Atlas Shrugged: Part III201410[160]
But Always20146[161]
Saving Christmas201412[162]




They Saved Hitler's Brain: The Movie


Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Sweet, Fancy Moses: eight rules for the office party




How to Throw a Holiday Party Employees Will Be Excited to Attend

By Alison Green | Posted on December 6, 2011


Every year around this time, my mail fills up with complaints from people about ways their companies are mishandling the holiday party – from making them pay to attend, to throwing a lavish event right after laying people off. The whole point of throwing a holiday party is to increase employee morale and engagement, so the last thing you want to do is hold an event that does the opposite!

Here are eight rules for throwing a company party that employees will want to attend.

1. Don’t require attendance, even unofficially. Some staffers truly don’t enjoy these sorts of functions, and that’s okay. Requiring their presence under the guise of giving them a treat will hurt morale, not build it. If the party is meant as a gift, you can’t turn it into an obligation, so don’t penalize people for not going, even just in your head.




2. Ensure that everyone who wants to go can go. Don’t leave your receptionist stuck covering the phone while everyone else goes to the party. And similarly, don’t make some employees “work” at the party (as caterers, coat checkers, or so forth).

3. Under no circumstances should you charge employees to attend. If you need to charge your party guests in order to cover your expenses, that’s a sign that you need to have a less lavish party.

4. Choose a convenient location, or arrange transportation for people who want it. Especially if you live in a city with good public transportation, some of your employees may not have cars. Make sure they can get to and from the venue easily.




5. Do not hold the party on a boat. You may expect people to stay for the full event, but some people will want to attend only part of it, and a boat means they’re stuck out for the whole evening. (Or will need to swim…)

6. Door prizes. Have them, and make them good. No $5 coupons or company mugs.

7. If the company is going through cutbacks, don’t throw an extravagant party. There’s no better way to demoralize employees than to lower this year’s bonuses and then blow thousands on a swanky affair.

8. Consider letting your staff vote on whether they want a holiday party or a day off … and don’t be upset if lots of people vote for the day off.




I didn't write this, of course, and I no longer work in an office (except for my own wonderful sanctuary, full of the things I love most and with a view of three-tiered cedar boughs full of birds and squirrels), but this struck me as one of the best things I've ever seen. It just makes such sense, but it's the kind of sense no one seems to exhibit any more in a world of frantic one-upmanship. People just don't even THINK about the rotten time a partygoer will have when s/he has to tend bar, handle coats or play receptionist. Holding the event on a boat is assumed to be an automatic and impressive "oooh-ahhh", when some may be seasick, dislike boats (me), or just want/need to leave early (babysitting emergency?) and feel trapped (which they are). These are plainordinary but seldom-thought-of guidelines for treating employees like human beings. No big blowouts after massive layoffs, please!