Sunday, December 20, 2015

A little Bible study, anyone?





Blogger's Note. When I'm down and troubled and need some loving care, I turn to the Good Book for wisdom and solace. I found plenty of it here - except that it was also X-rated. This is the story of a woman who illustrates the expression "he's hung like a horse". I didn't include the whole chapter because it's very repetitive. I first found this on a Facebook post in which verse 19 - 20 were featured on a red Starbucks holiday cup.





Ezekiel 23 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
Oholah and Oholibah

23 The word of the Lord came to me: 2 Mortal, there were two women, the daughters of one mother; 3 they played the whore in Egypt; they played the whore in their youth; their breasts were caressed there, and their virgin bosoms were fondled. 4 Oholah was the name of the elder and Oholibah the name of her sister. They became mine, and they bore sons and daughters. As for their names, Oholah is Samaria, and Oholibah is Jerusalem.






5 Oholah played the whore while she was mine; she lusted after her lovers the Assyrians, warriors[a] 6 clothed in blue, governors and commanders, all of them handsome young men, mounted horsemen. 7 She bestowed her favors upon them, the choicest men of Assyria all of them; and she defiled herself with all the idols of everyone for whom she lusted. 8 She did not give up her whorings that she had practiced since Egypt; for in her youth men had lain with her and fondled her virgin bosom and poured out their lust upon her. 9 Therefore I delivered her into the hands of her lovers, into the hands of the Assyrians, for whom she lusted. 10 These uncovered her nakedness; they seized her sons and her daughters; and they killed her with the sword. Judgment was executed upon her, and she became a byword among women.






11 Her sister Oholibah saw this, yet she was more corrupt than she in her lusting and in her whorings, which were worse than those of her sister. 12 She lusted after the Assyrians, governors and commanders, warriors clothed in full armor, mounted horsemen, all of them handsome young men. 13 And I saw that she was defiled; they both took the same way. 14 But she carried her whorings further; she saw male figures carved on the wall, images of the Chaldeans portrayed in vermilion, 15 with belts around their waists, with flowing turbans on their heads, all of them looking like officers—a picture of Babylonians whose native land was Chaldea. 16 When she saw them she lusted after them, and sent messengers to them in Chaldea. 17 And the Babylonians came to her into the bed of love, and they defiled her with their lust; and after she defiled herself with them, she turned from them in disgust. 18 When she carried on her whorings so openly and flaunted her nakedness, I turned in disgust from her, as I had turned from her sister. 19 Yet she increased her whorings, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt 20 and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose emission was like that of stallions.21 Thus you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians fondled your bosom and caressed your young breasts.






And in case you haven't had enough, here's a choice cut from the book of Deutoronomy:

No man whose testicles have been crushed or whose penis has been cut off may participate in the assembly of the LORD.

I don't think Oholibah would be interested.




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