🙉GORILLA SOLDIERS!🐵

Gorilla soldiers! Actually, two guys in very bad gorilla suits. I find it amusing that you can see the men's  dress shoes on the soles of their feet. But I suppose bare feet or athletic shoes would have been just as bad.

Frankenstein 1970 (when the reviews are more entertaining than the movie)

FRANKENSTEIN 1970!

WARNING! "Frankenstein 1970" is the most blood-freezing horror ever created! This picture may be too dangerous for people with weak hearts! Beware!

Storyline

Baron Victor von Frankenstein has fallen on hard times; he was tortured at the hands of the Nazis for not cooperating with them during World War II and he is now badly disfigured. As his family's wealth begins to run out, the Baron is forced to allow a TV crew shooting a documentary on his monster-making ancestors to film at his castle in Germany. However, the Baron has plans of his own: using the money from the film crew's rent, he buys an atomic reactor and uses it to create a hulking monster, transplanting his butler's brain into the monster and using it to kill off the film crew for more spare parts.

REVIEWS (from IMDB)

If it weren't for Karloff this would have been forgotten long ago  (2/10)
preppy-3  2 July 2011

Dismal, low-budget horror film shot (for no good reason) in Cinemascope. It starts off great with a young, screaming woman being chased around on a dark, foggy night by a barely glimpsed monster. The sequence is beautifully atmospheric and hearkens back to the glory days of Universal horror movies. Sadly, this is the best sequence in the entire movie. Then it turns out it's only a movie being filmed near Baron Fankenstein's (Boris Karloff) estate. Yup there's ANOTHER Frankenstein who is a victim of Nazi tortures. For no discernible reason he's making a monster too...and decides to use the film crew and cast for parts.

Karloff hams it up and has a whale of a time with his performance. That alone gives it two stars. The rest of the film is drab and dreary with a pointless plot full of loopholes (just why is Frankenstein making another monster?) and one of the stupidest "monsters" ever seen. It's just some clown in a big ill-fitting suit made of bandages--everything is covered including his head! All the victims seem so terror stricken at this that they never run away and politely stand there and let the monster kill them (never shown). Truthfully they should all be helpless with laughter at this! There's next to no blood or gore either. This was 1958--blood WAS being shown in horror movies at this time but this one shies away from it. Also what's with the title? The 1970 implies a futuristic angle. Aside from reanimating the monster from an atomic reactor there's NOTHING futuristic or new here! It's also flatly directed not using the large Cinemascope image at all. Also with the exception of Karloff and Charlotte Austin the acting is truly terrible. Worst of all Karloff was pretty obviously in poor health when he did this and it's somewhat uncomfortable to see him slowly walking around slowly bent over and looking terrible. A very depressing poor horror film. Karloff deserved better. I give it a 2.

Frankenstein - 1970   (2/10)
Coxer99  8 June 1999

It's sad to see Karloff nearing the end of his career in such a mess of a film. Hammy effects and almost silly attempts at chills make this mess almost a spoof more than a horror.

1970, Did You Say?   (2/10)
AaronCapenBanner  20 October 2013

Boris Karloff(at the low-point of his brilliant career) plays Victor Von Frankenstein, last-surviving descendant of the original Baron Frankenstein(though NOT connected to the Universal Studios series Karloff had starred in!) who, because of financial necessity, allows a film crew to make a movie of his ancestors in his castle; the money he receives he plans to use to create a new monster, this time by using atomic energy generated by his own reactor. The actors from the film will make very convenient parts to compose the new monster, much to their surprise and horror... Pathetic attempt at a "futuristic" Frankenstein film is an abject failure, both poorly made and written, with Karloff looking embarrassed about the whole thing; thankfully, his career would pick up soon when he was chosen to host "Thriller"...

The Biggest Problem is the Script   (4/10)
arfdawg-  18 July 2020

The concept is kind of interesting, but the script is horrible. It's full of long winded soliloquies by Boris, pontificating on this or that and they will put you to sleep.

Could have been a fun comedy/horror, but it takes itself too seriously.

This is very scary.   (10/10)
jacobjohntaylor1  18 January 2016

This is one of the scariest movies of all time. 4.7 it underrating it. In this movie the mean character is the Grand son of Doctor Frankenstein. It is a sequel to Frankenstein. That takes place in the future. This a movie good for any one who like a good horror movie. See this movie. It is a great movie. This movie has great acting. It also has a great story line. It also has great special effects. It is no 4.7 it a great film. It is very intense. Do not watch this movie alone. Boris Karloff was a great actor. Tom Duggan was a great actor. Jana Lund was a great actor. This movie is a must see. This movie is true horror classic.

Loved it   (10/10)
labellalarry  19 June 2021

I loved it. I never have seen it. I love these simple old sci fi. But hey I'm a simple kind a guy

(Final thoughts. I just sat through this entire thing on Svengoolie, and . . . I have to agree with all but the last two reviews, one of which is fairly incoherent, and the last of which states that he hasn't even seen it. As I wish I hadn't. I'll never get those 83 minutes back. The posters are OK, but kind of schlocky - and why FOUR posters for a movie which garnered two-star reviews?)

ENRICO CARUSO: "Vesti la giubba" (Rare, surreal old film fragment)

This little glimpse of Enrico Caruso donning the motley is eerie, ghostly, and somehow oddly real, making a legend/disembodied voice into an actual person. Almost.

"LOOK OUT!" Announcer is HYSTERICAL over OCTOPUS ATTACK!

This narrator has to be the most over-the-top commentator I've ever seen! The divers went down there expressly to get shots of the octopus close-up. At no time was there an attack! It's well-known that even the largest octopus does NOT atack humans. I can just see the film editor looking at the footage and saying, "Oh boy, is this boring! We have to spice it up somehow." It's a great example of male hysterics.

🌳TREEBEARD and the MOSSY LOGS🌲

A magical walk in the woods. Nature IS my mental health, these days, and I doubt if I could survive without it. 

POPEYE: My All-Time Favorite Scene!

For some reason I remembered this scene from my early childhood. I think it's from the first Popeye cartoon, Popeye the Sailor Man (not counting the one where he co-starred with Betty Boop). Of course I've played around with it a little bit!

🐴HORSE ON ROLLERSKATES!🙄

At first I thought this was a cow, until I realized it's two guys in a suit. I pity the guy on the back end, for obvious reasons. But this old pantomime trick is even more tricky on rollerskates. 

Just random stuff from the files. . .

 

Nobel PRIZE? . . . Weird, man.

Kind of a cool clip. Short, too.

Avant et Apres Le Corset

 

This beautiful work of art featuring gorgeous Parisian ladies in various stages of dress/undress is so lavish and detailed that I can hardly take it all in. So, as an experiment, I cropped out some close shots to get a better look. The original poster had some sort of very finely-written text, undoubtedly in French. I would have loved to make some sort of animation out of this, but the frames were  not the same size (unless I cut them up into TEENY little pieces!). I am not always the best at determining if pictures are circa Victorian or Edwardian, but I'm tending towards the latter because of the pigeon-breasted stance and huge bustles.

What is the best thing in life?

 

"NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME!"

Why doesn't anyone understand me? My friend Rosetta Stone doesn't have that problem. 

FIGHT! Coot vs Swan

Part Two of bird bravery!

Momma Duck protects the babies - AMAZING !

Sometimes I think that if I had been raised by ducks, I would have turned out a whole lot better. This mother mallard is incredibly brave in fighting off a seagull predator which would have grabbed her babies for a light snack. I've seldom ever seen such courage in any being, human or animal. 

The Troll Doll Channel: 💗TROLL WEDDING MARCH!💙

Two of my favorite Dam trolls renew their vows (for perhaps the 15th time!). 

😳"MY DOG STEPPED ON A BEE!" (courtroom re-enactment)

Oh boy, this took a long time to make! I took the Monty Python "foot stomp" gif and literally grafted the image of the bee onto it, frame by frame. I didn't do a perfect job - I see stuff in the background that I swear I got rid of! But for me, it's pretty advanced animation. I couldn't use the Sousa Liberty Bell March (the Monty Python theme), so I found the next best thing, the Washington Post March (by Sousa, of course).

😱SCREAMING COWBOY!🤠

I honestly do not know how I have lived my life not knowing about this! I never reveal my sources, but suffice it to say it has been around YouTube for a long time. It has to be in my current top five.

Transparent gifs!