Friday, April 5, 2013
Thursday, April 4, 2013
I TOLD you Disney was a ripoff!
From Murnau's 1926 silent masterpiece, FAUST
From Disney's FANTASIA: running low on ideas, boys?
Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book
It took me years to write, will you take a look
Order The Glass Character from:
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K7NGDA
Barnes & Noble
Thistledown Press
The Glass Character: synopsis
THE GLASS CHARACTER
A novel by Margaret Gunning
Published in April 2014 by Thistledown Press
I would like to introduce you to my third novel, The Glass Character, a story of obsessive love and ruthless ambition set in the heady days of the Jazz Age in the 1920s. This was a time when people went to the movies almost every day, living vicariously through their heroes: Valentino, Garbo, Fairbanks and Pickford. But comedians were the biggest draw, and broad slapstick the order of the day - with one very significant exception.
Standing beside Keaton and Chaplin in popularity and prowess was a slight, diffident man named Harold Lloyd. He hid his leading man good looks under white makeup and his trademark black-framed spectacles. Nearly 100 years later, an iconic image of Lloyd remains in the popular imagination: a tiny figure holding on for dear life to the hands of a huge clock while the Model Ts chuff away 20 stories below.
With his unique combination of brilliant comedy and shy good looks, Lloyd had as many female followers as Gilbert or Barrymore. Sixteen-year-old Muriel Ashford, desperate to escape a suffocating life under her cruel father's thumb, one day hops a bus into the unknown, the Hollywood
When her idol Harold Lloyd walks on the set, her life falls into a dizzy whirl of confusion, attraction, and furious pursuit. Muriel tries on and sheds one identity after another: bit actress, waitress in a speakeasy, "girl reporter", script writer - while Lloyd almost literally dances in and out of her desperately lonely world, alternately seducing her and pushing her away.
While researching this book, I repeatedly watched every Lloyd movie I could get my hands on. I was astonished at his subtlety, acting prowess and adeptness at the art of the graceful pratfall. His movies are gaining new popularity on DVD (surprisingly, with women sighing over him on message boards everywhere!). The stories wear well and retain their freshness because of the Glass Character's earnest good nature and valiant, sometimes desperate attempts to surmount impossible challenges.
Introduction: Why Harold Lloyd?
The
Glass Character is
a fictional account of a young girl’s experiences in Hollywood 1962, in which she develops a relationship
with silent film comedian Harold Lloyd. Though I did extensive research in
exploring the era in general and his life in particular, this story is not
intended to be a biography of Lloyd. My main purpose was to
communicate atmosphere: the excitement, exuberance and joy of these “high and
dizzy” times.
With his boyish good looks and appealing everyman persona, Lloyd was no less than the inventor of an entire film genre: the romantic comedy. These sample remarks from YouTube (all by women) indicate a charm and magnetism that reaches across generations:
I think he
was and still is one of the most attractive men ever to walk the earth. I
absolutely love him!
Each time I
watch his movies I fall in love a little more.
He is sooooooo funny and the most handsome man ever!
Talented,
funny, smart, creative and damn gorgeous!
I find him
really attractive with his glasses on, and you can’t beat that half-shy,
half-sly smile of his.
I don’t
want to say it but he is in my fantasies. . . sigh.
I doubt if
George Clooney could inspire such rhapsodic praise.
When I sat
down to write, words often tumbled out at a fever pitch. Many of the scenes
came to me out of sequence, as if I were shooting a movie. Inspiration had a
timetable of its own and sometimes happened on holiday (can you believe I
almost missed the Grand Canyon ?). This had never happened to me before, and I had to take a few leaps
of faith to believe I could ever piece it all together.
Plunging
into his pictures to such depth, I experienced an immediacy, even an intimacy I
had never known before. I was breathing in the gunpowder and the dust and the
sweating horses and the she-loves-me/she-loves-me-not flowers and the white
greasepaint. I could hear “roll ‘em” and “cut!” and “damn, we’ll have to do
that again.” I was seeing that wonderful “half-shy, half-sly” smile of his in
person.
Though
Lloyd’s work has been gloriously reborn through the medium of DVD, he is still
too frequently seen as a bronze medallist after those two other legendary
figures from the silent age: Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton. It’s time to
throw away useless comparisons and hierarchies (is Picasso “better” than Van
Gogh? And how about Rembrandt – why does the poor fellow always come in
third?), and appreciate Lloyd’s movies for what they are. He is so much more
than the “everyman” of popular description. His Glass Character is a subtle,
slightly surreal, heart-touchingly brave and boyish silent clown, and if you
don’t watch out, he will take up residence in your heart, perhaps for good.
This is
Harold Lloyd the way I see him. I hope you enjoy this story.
It hurts to be in love
It hurts to be in love.
There is so much about it that hurts.
People don’t admit it, don’t talk about it. But I doubt if I am alone.
By "it", I mean IT, the need, want, passion, prayer to write. Often it’s lit inside you
in childhood, after falling into the disturbing wonderland of books.
When I look back
on it all, my “writer’s journey” (as so many of the more sickening how-to books
call it) has been rocky in the extreme. Long stretches of struggle and hard
work with tiny rewards, except for getting it down on the page. Brief
upflashings of what can only be called inspiration. One sweet, almost
unbelievable passage when I published my first novel and received the kind of
reviews a writer can only dream of (only to be followed by negligible sales and
quickly turning into box office poison).
Following that, I
had a void. I had an abyss. I had a time in my life when I wandered strange. I
don’t know what caused it. I had no way out, no compass. All I had were a few
friends to wave at me as I stumbled by.
During this interminable
time, I wondered if it was “all over”. It FELT over. I poured my feelings into
a journal so self-absorbed that I would never consider showing it to anyone
(though someone suggested I turn it into a blog – at a time when I barely knew
what a blog was).
I can’t remember,
except that I do, when the spark flared. I can’t quite find the end of the ball
of string. Except to say I had Turner Classics on (which I suppose reveals my
age, something around blltxyx years). It was a silent movie, black and
white, and someone was walking away from the camera. I could only see his back.
His back was –
what shall I say, jaunty? He was in character, obviously, and this was the way
he walked.
After a few
seconds, I said out loud, “That’s Harold Lloyd.”
I was not sure I
knew how I knew, and this reaction was to come up again and again in the next
couple of years while I beavered away at the novel. Yes, the novel: The
Glass Character, a fictionalized account of Harold Lloyd’s life seen through
the eyes of an obsessed fan who virtually stalks him for 300 pages.
 |
Something happened
then: I fell back in love with the process. Every day I approached the computer
with excitement and joy. Surely THIS was the best thing I had ever written? If
not, why did I feel that way? I spent a year and a half researching and writing
about Lloyd, falling so in love with him along the way that I wondered if I had
lost my objectivity.
During the
writing, I would not talk about the project. I was close-mouthed. I knew if I
talked about it, I’d kill it. I sometimes blurted things to my husband, just so
I would not go insane with it, the isolation. When it was finished, I
cautiously talked about it to people who asked if I had written anything lately
(hoping, in that manner of people who hope you will fail, that I would avert my
eyes, shuffle my feet and say,
“Well. . . “)
“Well. . . “)
Almost to a person, when I said it was about Harold Lloyd, I got a puzzled look. One of those “I really do think you’re out of your mind and are making things up, but I’ll iron out some of the crinkles in my forehead and tone down the gimlets in my eyes in order to humour you”. Then when I explained, stumblingly, “He was the silent movie comedian who climbed up the side of a building and hung on to the hands of a huge clock”, I almost always got, “Ohhhhhhh, THAT Harold Lloyd!”
And I’m sure they didn’t
know how they knew.
My dreams were high and dizzy. There would be a movie version, surely (which
I cast in my mind: never mind who, I’m not that masochistic), or at very least
a decent-sized book contract. I began the heartbreaking process all over again.
Every time I
talked to anyone about trying to market a manuscript, they always seemed to
say, “Just get an agent.” The “just” (which I am going to blog about, as I
think it’s a casual form of sadism or at least dismissal) felt like a sort of
“oh, quit kvetching, it would be easy if you did this the right way”. One, two, three, and you’re in.
Oh yes, I tried! I
tried. With my typical savage perseverance and propensity for running headlong
into a brick wall, I tried. I did work with an agent in the mid-2000s, and at
that time she actually approached me, a dizzying development. Of course I
grabbed at it, even if it didn’t work out.
This time it was
different.
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Agents have to
make a go of it, and I can see why taking on things like books of poetry and
literary fiction won’t sustain them. They’d make next to nothing and starve to
death, as would their authors. That said, it was pretty heartbreaking not to be
considered at all: most of them would only look at non-fiction and
children’s books, preferably series.
A few at least
allowed me to send a sample of my work. The one that sticks out in my mind is
the agent who asked for “the first two pages”. I had to blink twice before that
sank in. The answer, based on those first two pages, was no.
That’s kind of
like evaluating a speech by the intake of breath before the speech even begins.
I’m not crazy
enough to get into the ins and outs of approaching conventional publishers,
except to say that one submissions page currently says that it is permissible
(though ONLY after your manuscript is accepted for publication) to mail it to
them on floppy discs. But along with this startlingly modern, Jetsons-like form, you must also mail the printed manuscript (typed on 8 ½ x
11” white paper, double-spaced, on one side of the page only and in 12-point pica
type or larger) along with it.
And all on your own dime.
Am I complaining
because nothing has happened? I don’t know, maybe. Have I just killed my chances because I quoted something from a publisher's web site, nearly verbatim? (To deal with the literary world is to be on permanent eggshells.) Is this novel not quite as
good as I thought? Hard to say. Did I lose my objectivity, fall in love with
Lloyd to such a degree that I could never write about him with the proper
detachment?
So what DOES sell
now? Fifty Shades of Grey, bad soft-core Mommy porn. Maybe I should have had Harold
Lloyd tied up and whipped.
Oh, and another
thing I constantly hear (along with, "Wasn't the fun of writing it enough?") is: “JUST self-publish”. Or epublish, interchangeably.
It’s a fast way to jump over all the barriers that “paper” publishers erect.
It’s true, this new-ish form does open a gate that often seems permanently closed
and barred. But the problem is that there are no standards. None.
I’ve been a book
reviewer for 30 years, and I think I have some capacity to judge. It’s the Wild
West: one big tidal wave of good, bad and indifferent. And the thing is, if
your work really is good and worthy to be read, how will anyone ever pick it
out of the flood?
People always quote an epublished success story, a “for-instance” like Fifty Shades or the latest Stephen King, but
isn’t that something like winning the lottery? After all, SOMEBODY has to win, don’t
they?
But unless you
were born under a brighter star than I was, I can almost guarantee you that it
won’t be you.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
I'm agonizingly tired, but. . .
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But I just wanted to say. . . my new header photo is NOT by that Painter of Light guy, whoever he was, the one who screwed around all the time. Now that it's up there, it looks just a little TOO phantasmagorical, though I seemingly spent all day getting it to look like that.
This is the original photo, and it's the house I grew up in, the house I spent the first 16 years of my life in. I am sure I had no idea how beautiful it was. It still exists, on 20 Victoria Avenue in Chatham, but it's a doctor's office now and I am sure has been gutted. No more terrazzo floors or gorgeous russet-colored hardwood (covered by WALL-TO-WALL CARPETS, the newest thing!). No more dumbwaiter converted to laundry chute, earth-floored root-cellar in the basement, or sculptured plaster fruit at the base of the chandeliers. And two bathrooms, by God, one up and one down, almost unheard-of then.
Why is this important? Do people think I am a total idiot? Yes, at least some of the time. I picked the name of my blog, a) to advertise my work (because why the hell else have a blog?), and b) because I wanted a rather silly, Barbie's House of Dreams-type title. So many blogs have clever titles, and for the most part I hate them. So I purposely picked a silly one, though up to now I never used an actual house to illustrate it.
This house, well. It was quite a house, painted sunny yellow. We used to climb up on the roof in the summer, up the TV aerial which was a huge power-station-type thing. We had a big thing with a dial, called a "big thing with a dial"(I guess), and you set the dial and it went "wah-wah-wah-wah-wah" and the aerial turned and you could get Cleveland.
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There was also something called UHF. It was on the dial of the TV. I was terrified of UHF. I thought if I ever tuned in UHF, my head would explode. One day I timidly asked my brother, "What's UHF (pronouncing it "UHFFFF")?"
He laughed his ass off and said, "It's U. H. F., stupid. It's some broadcasting frequency that we can't get. Educational or something."
I still don't like it.
http://margaretgunnng.blogspot.ca/2013/04/the-glass-character-synopsis.html http://members.shaw.ca/margaret_gunning/betterthanlife.htm
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Monday, April 1, 2013
Revolution 9: I have a dream today
Dreams vaporize like snow sublimating on a sidewalk. More and more I remember mine, and see a thread in them. Maybe it has always been there. I always seem to be a hopeless outsider or have no idea what is going on, though I am supposed to be playing a crucial role in the scenario (i. e. the Wildwood Flower bride, and the Alice in Wonderland actress). Last night my dreams were bleak, and I hope did not predict anything except my own melancholy and chronic sense of doom.
It was as if I was watching one of those dystopia films, in which everything slowly but surely comes unstuck. "All is changed, changed utterly," to paraphrase Yeats (I'm too lazy to look up the exact quote). "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold."
This had several parts. Which came first? My husband was with me during a big part of this, which is unusual because I am usually alone. We were watching a stage play which almost seemed like a Gilbert and Sullivan comedy without the music. This was in an ornate old theatre like the Orpheum in Vancouver. One of the actors seemed particularly good and I intended to yell "Bravo!" when he took his bows.
At this point I was sitting in the front row and Bill wasn't with me. Then I was about 1/3 or 1/2-way back in the audience, and there was a sense almost of an earthquake about to happen, though nothing was shaking. Without any words we received the knowledge that the ceiling was about to cave in and we had to get out of the theatre immediately or be crushed.
I looked up and wondered if the ceiling was bulging and it played into my lifelong fear that heavy chandeliers in restaurants and theatres would fall on me. People began to leave, but in a fairly orderly, methodical way. I could not find my shoes and was upset. Bill said something along the lines of, you'll need them, which seemed ominous. I realized we had to leave only a few minutes before the end of the play and I would not be able to yell "Bravo!".
Then we were wandering aimlessly through a sort of wasteland, completely lost. Bill doesn't get lost easily, or panic about it, but I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that everything was about to end. At one point we were climbing up a tall tower like something in a power station, then we had to climb down again and Bill's legs hurt. I was sort of holding on to him through this.
There were these vasts fields of dead grass and nothingness. A woman on a horse went by (and now I think of that futuristic TV show Revolution, where the power goes off all over the world and there are no cars). Then at some point I said something like, "Wait, my high school graduation is tomorrow, how will I get there?" "It will be called off. You'll have to phone the school about it." "But everyone will be calling in at once. The lines will be jammed." As we had this conversation, we were walking by the high school and it looked deserted. It resembled my school from Grade 5 (Queen Elizabeth II) where I had to be bussed all the way across town to attend the (quote-unquote) "smart kids' class".
In another part of this strange scene, I was watching TV and suddenly the program changed. It became totally nonsensical and obnoxious,almost like scrambled-up children's programming, and it was obvious that this wasn't part of the show. I realized (how?) that a woman had hacked into TV signals all over the entire world and disabled them all. I don't even know how I knew this. I just now think of the Emergency Broadcasting System and "this is only a test" announcements of my childhood, when I was totally freaked out and felt like it was the end of the world (which, with the Cuban Missile Crisis, it nearly was).
I think I have already lost chunks of this and would have forgotten it all by now had I not scribbled down a few details. The last part I can remember now is that I was listening to a radio broadcast, and it was about my friend Glen Allen, a journalist who committed suicide in 2005. He worked in radio and it was a sort of reminiscence about his life. I began to get very interested in it and thought, "Now they'll talk about his association with Peter Gzowski." But then it cut off. No explanation, it just ended. The radio had no signal at all - it simply went dead.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Easter terror: bunnies from hell
It wouldn't be Easter without a few of these. I've found some that look suspiciously doctored, so I won't use them. What stands out is the terror and dismay on the faces of the children. Why? Why would anyone be afraid of an old man in long pink underwear and erectile ears putting his arm around you, when you KNOW you're not supposed to talk to strangers? Why would you take candy from them, when Mom and Dad have jackhammered it into your little head that you are NOT supposed to do that, ever? I am sure this is why small children scream and cry at the Easter Bunny and Santa and all those other creepy characters, until custom and convention slowly wear down their natural instinct to survive.
Why must Easter bunnies look like Fascist dictators? Why must their heads be larger than their bodies? Would this scare YOU?
The Space Alien bunny is a genre unto itself. They're really here to harvest our children.
I'd like to know who would sit down and design a costume like this. There are apparently no holes for oxygen, so let's hope the guy suffocated.
This is my personal favorite. Don't be fooled by the frightened smile on the little girl's face. She's just trying to get it over with as soon as possible.
Whatever happened to the Rich Egg?
Easter morning, and I'm wondering whatever happened to the Magic Treat of my childhood.
We had the usual stuff in our messy Easter baskets, stuffed in with that shredded cellophane that gets into everything, and I seem to remember a lot of jellybeans and a large, waxen egg with a white centre. Nobody liked these, but who were we to argue with the Easter bunny?
I would go along with anything when I was a kid, including the idea of a Harvey-esque full-sized rabbit hopping all over the universe to distribute candy and toys. But mostly candy. The piece de resistance (never mind if I spelled that right, it's Easter) was the Laura Secord egg, usually called by us kids the "rich egg" because if you had more than a small bite of it at a time, you'd gag on the sweetness. It had a fairly thick milk chocolate shell, a fondant-y centre and a yolky-looking middle, which we assumed was made of entirely dfferent material. Yolk candy.
Though I remember it as being about the size of my fist, it was a child's fist. But still pretty big.
Lots of people have fond, even mooshy memories of the Laura Secord Easter Egg, which apparently is still available in Canada's Far East. They remember Mammy or Aunt Dora or somebody-or-other giving them the rich egg on Easter morning, the ritual opening of the box and removal of the paper grass, the malty sweet smell of the chocolate. Memories like these are powerful stuff. But though the egg is still manufactured, like so many things, it has changed. On the internet I found a taste test of the egg as it stands today, and it fell rather short, getting something like a 6 out of 10.
But has the egg changed, or have we? Perhaps both. Today, I am sure people would not cut small slices off the egg and eat maybe one slice per day until the thing was gone (carefully keeping the leftovers in the refrigerator). They'd have at it and eat the whole thing in one go, if the 400-pound young woman we saw in the lineup at at McDonalds yesterday is any indication.
People wouldn't know what to do with a rich egg if it bit them.
I found several recipes for a replica of the Secord egg which are no doubt improvements on the goopy new version (which probably resembles the blandly sweet Cadbury cream egg). I like this one because it purports to be "healthy". Well, there are 22 servings here, so unless you eat them all at once (which probably most people would, in this age of dangerous gluttony and overconsumption - and hey, whatever happened to the concept of gluttony as a "deadly sin"? Nobody even uses the word any more. Call Marlon Brando.) I'll just let that thought dangle. It's Easter.
(Before this "healthy recipe" I will display an example of a homemade egg that is probably excruciatingly good, way better than our "rich egg" ever was. This probably takes approximately one million hours to make.)
Easter Eggs (Like Laura Secord) Recipe
Looking for an easy Easter Eggs (like laura secord) recipe? Learn how to make Easter Eggs (like laura secord) using healthy ingredients.
(Homemade easter eggs like laura secord) chocolate covered sugar eggs with a yellow yolk and white sugar dough surrounding the yolk. Makes 22 servings.)
Recipe Ingredients for Easter Eggs (like laura secord)
| 3 | lbs icing sugar |
| 300 | ml Sweetened Condensed Milk |
| 1 | tbsp corn syrup |
| 1/4 | lb butter |
| 2 | tsp salt |
| 16 | oz baking chocolate |
Recipe Directions for Easter Eggs (like laura secord)
- mix all ingredients, except chocolate in a food processer or mixing bowl, adding the icing sugar a little at a time.
- take 1/4 of the sugar dough and mix yellow food colouring into it, which makes the yolk part of the egg. then form the yellow dough into 20 -22 balls, cool in fridge. Then take the remaining dough and cut it into 22 same size pieces which you will wrap around the yellow yolk balls, to form your egg. Chill these again, and then dip them in the chocolate which is melted in a double boiler.(pour the chocolate over the egg as opposed to dipping the egg directly into the melted chocolate
Easter
| Nutrition Facts | ||||||
Serving Size 106.6g
| ||||||
Amount Per Serving
| ||||||
Calories
447
Calories from Fat
107
| ||||||
% Daily Value*
| ||||||
Total Fat
11.9g
18%
| ||||||
Saturated Fat
7.9g
39%
| ||||||
Trans Fat
0.0g
| ||||||
Cholesterol
22mg
7%
| ||||||
Sodium
282mg
12%
| ||||||
Total Carbohydrates
84.1g
28%
| ||||||
Dietary Fiber
0.7g
3%
| ||||||
Sugars
81.0g
| ||||||
Protein
3.0g
| ||||||
| ||||||
* Based on a 2000 calorie diet
Nutritional details are an estimate and should only be used as a guide for approximation. |
Legend
Fat
Protein
Carbs
Alcohol
Other
Calorie Breakdown
Daily Values
Fat Protein Carbs Alcohol OtherCalorie Breakdown
Daily Values
Health Information
| Nutrition Grade 96% confidence  | Good points | Bad points |
HAPPY EASTER!
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