(This is an excerpt from my third novel, The Glass Character, a fictionalized account of the life and times of silent movie comedia...

I don't know what it is about the Oscars. All right, I do: it's kind of like Christmas, with a huge buildup that lasts weeks...

Yes, I admit it. I do get depressed. This is like a Dalmation saying, yes, I do have spots. Or something. Just trying to set up this...