CRAIG BROWN: News just in from Harry and Meghan's
new hometown of Montecito... yes, watching paint dry CAN save the world
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex
are said to be mulling over an invitation to the King’s Coronation in May.
A statement on behalf of the couple confirmed that
they have been emailed about the event but it’s not yet clear if they’ll
accept. And that’s the news. The time is three minutes past eight.
March 7: The
Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be mulling over the a la carte menu at
an out-of-town restaurant near their home in
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March 8: The
Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be mulling over whether to go out or
stay in. A statement on behalf of the couple confirmed that they have been
involved in discussions about the relative benefits of the two options.
March 9:
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be watching paint dry. A statement
on behalf of the couple confirmed that they are pursuing their paint-watching
in a spirit of universal unity and reconciliation on behalf of all the
underprivileged people of the world.
March 10:
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be preparing a statement
about how their paint-watching operation is going. In an exclusive interview on
CNN — his first in more than two hours — Prince Harry said: ‘I was never given
the opportunity to watch paint dry in my childhood. It was always like “Oh, no,
no, no, you must be able to find something better to do. You want to do this, you
don’t want to do that.”
‘They tried to make out that the paint would dry
whether or not I watched it. It was, like, brutal. And that’s something that,
as an adult, I’ve struggled to cope with.’
March 11:
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are said to be mulling over an invitation
to watch paint dry at the newly decorated house of their neighbour Oprah
Winfrey in
In an exclusive interview with the entertainment
editor of Psychology Today, the duchess said that over the coming years they
are determined to let their children watch as much paint dry as possible.
‘It’s, like, a very positive experience. It, like,
teaches you that though paint of whatever colour or creed may at first be very,
very wet, so wet it’s like, really, really wet, well, you only have to, like,
wait long enough, and — here’s the amazing thing — it will eventually dry.
‘And to me that’s the most valuable life lesson of
them all.’
March 12:
The Duke and Duchess of
A spokesperson for the couple said: ‘Harry and
Meghan are proud to share their passion for watching paint dry with millions of
others, harnessing their own expertise to push for safer, more inclusive
paint-watching communities around the world.’
Speaking to her friend Gwyneth Paltrow for her
podcast Spending And Caring, Meghan said: ‘Harry and I want to shed light on
paint and continue to watch it dry so as to empower and inspire others to
protect this beautiful, fragile planet we call Earth.’
Prince Harry reveals on the My Best Trauma podcast
that learning to gaze at his own navel has done wonders for his mental health.
‘As a child, I, like, literally didn’t have a
navel, or, if I did, I didn’t know where it was and was certainly not
encouraged to gaze at it.
‘Growing up, I suffered from unconscious bias
against my own navel. I never gave it a chance to speak, so naturally it felt
sidelined.
‘And that’s why Meghan and I are now on a mission
to teach everyone to engage with their navels, and to listen to everything our
navels have to tell us about our shared values.’
News just in: The Duke and Duchess of Sussex announce their new Archewell Nursing Home, dedicated to nursing all kinds of grievance, from the wholly inconsiderable to the very small.