What NOT to say to a depressed person

What NOT to say to a depressed person

(A summer repeat, but worth saying again. I believe, at one point or another, I have heard all of these. When a major figure commits suicide, we dust off a lot of homilies, and repeat "reach out for help" with the same regularity as that other meaningless phrase, "thoughts and prayers". It's sad that the onus for "reaching out" is thoughtlessly placed on the suffering person, as if it's an easy thing to do and as if they wouldn't have done it already if they could - and if the help were there. By the responses below, I would say that, in general, it is not.)


 


“It’s all in your mind.”

“You just need to give yourself a good swift kick in the rear.”

“No one ever said life was fair.”

“I think you enjoy wallowing in it."

"Depression is a choice, you know."

“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

"There are a lot of people worse off than you.”

“But it’s a beautiful day!”

“You have so many things to be thankful for!”

“You just want attention.”

“Happiness is a choice, you know.”

"Just read this book. It'll fix you right up."

“Everything happens for a reason.”





“There is always somebody worse off than you are.”

“You should get off all those pills.”

“You are what you think you are.”

“Cheer up!”

“Have you been praying/reading your Bible?”

"People who meditate don't get depressed."

“You need to get out more.”

"Don't you have a sense of humour?"

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

“Get a job!”

“Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone.”

"Just read this book. It'll fix you right up."

“But you don’t look depressed. You seem fine to me.”

“You can do anything you want if you just set your mind to it.”

“Snap out of it, will you? You have no reason to feel this way.”

“I wish I had the luxury of being depressed.”

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”

"Just read this book. It'll fix you right up."

"Do you want your family to suffer along with you?"

“Can't you at least make an effort?"

“Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. I was depressed once for several

days.”

“Turn it over to your Higher Power.”

“I think your depression is a way of punishing us.”

“So, you’re depressed. Aren’t you always?”

“You’re always so negative! Look on the bright side.”

“What you need is some real tragedy in your life to give you perspective.”

"You're a writer, aren't you? Just think of all the good material you're

getting out of this."

“Have you tried camomile tea?”

"I TOLD you to read that book."

"Go out and help someone who is worse off than you and you won't

have time to brood."


“You have to take up your bed and carry on.”

“Well, we all have our crosses to bear.”

"God never gives us more than we can handle."

"I was depressed until I tried yoga."

“You don’t like feeling that way? Change it!"

“SMILE!”

Baffled reporters: or, whatever happened to Stone Phillips?

It seems that every 2 or 3 years or so - OK, make that every 5 or 6 years - I find myself wondering,"whatever happened to Stone Phillips?" The fact that no one even seems to ask any more alarms me even more than the fact that he seems to have dropped off the face of the earth.

I squeezed the internet and wrung it, picked it up and shook it by its heels, and nothing came out. He does have a sort of website, Stone Phillips Reports, which has the same two stories on it that it had five years ago.

Finally I found something, sort of, but it was so hilarious I just had to reproduce it in its entirety here. You know by now, beloved readers (all eleven of you!)that I love nonsensical, ungrammatical, completely opaque writing more than anything, and I found it here. They keep calling him The Stone, which I like, and one whole sentence is, "Stone".

Where is Stone Philips Recently? Any Mark Of Him in 2017? Is He Married Or Dating Someone? Find More About His Career, Relationships, And Much More

Posted by MarriedBiography on June 19, 2017 | In Career , Child , Married , Net Worth , Relationship

Google +

Being a public figure, a person is committed to dragging people towards his profession and personal life. As people are different and so their view, all the stars have various views regarding talking about their personal life. Not every celebrity like sharing their personal life and prefer screening it with their profession. The veteran American television reporter Stone Phillips is also one of those leading lights who always kept his career before his personal life.

Stone is the famous as the former co-anchor of Dateline NBC Stone. As Stone has now disappeared after some groundbreaking reports. Has he retired or are there any traces of him in 2017? Scroll to find where is he currently. And also let’s dig a little much in his personal life. 

Where is Stone Philips currently? Find out about his successful career here!!

Stone Phillips has become one of the most capable and baffled reporters with a number of groundbreaking news. But now who would have assumed that he would leave some day with no any marks?

Stone has provided some of the most difficult interviews of the time to the shows like Dateline NBC and 20/20. But after he disappeared, he hasn’t shown any hint about his comeback now. He neither has declared his retirement nor has shared his plans of coming back as an expert reporter. However, according to his Twitter bio, he worked with PBS station in a documentary Moving With Grace. Sixty-two-years-old Stone Phillips earlier worked as ABC News reporter for World News Tonight and 20/20. Afterward, he joined NBC where he is known for resembling as a fill-in anchor for Today and NBC Nightly News. He is also known for making his presence as a substitute moderator on Meet the Press.

However, it is believed that he had been receiving a pleasant salary from his profession. Though he has been hiding his net worth since a long time. Yet he never disclosed, his net worth is believed to be in millions.

Personal Life and Relationship Details of the famous former anchor Stone Philips 

American reporter Stone Phillips was born on December 2, 1954. He was born to parents Victor and Grace Phillips in Texas City, Texas. Stone. He grew up with his brother Victor III and sister Minta. Stone was an acolyte at St. Martin’s Episcopal Church as a boy. He visited Parkway West High School where he was a starting quarterback on the football team. For the graduation, he went to Yale University where he won the Ivy League football championship as starting quarterback for the Yale Bulldogs squad. He graduated from the Yale University with a bachelor’s degree in philosophy in the year 1977.

Going through the Stone’s personal life, he is married to Debra Del Toro-Phillips. Stone’s wife Debra is known as one of the successful persons in the fashion industry. She also has received master’s degree in social work. 

The couple together is blessed with a son named Streeter Phillips who was born in 1988. They had a daughter too who was born in August 1995. But unfortunately, she passed away the same day of her birth. During his long journey towards the very successful career, he hasn’t much opened up about his personal life. As Stone has always been keeping his personal behind the curtains, there is no more information about his wife and children.

(Please note. The family photograph that appeared with this article has nothing to do with The Stone Phillips. It is some other family entirely.)

Right up my alley(cat)

Colorado-based artist Arna Miller uses vintage style packaging, advertising, and illustrations as inspiration for her goofy creations. The serious historical aesthetic and matter-of-fact text subtly ridiculous, finding humor in imagining animals experiencing human emotions, ambitions, and failures.

In a statement on her website, Miller describes her guiding principles as an artist: “My aim is to create narrative illustrations that depict magical moments…I often use text to tell part of the story, but like to leave most of the narrative up to the viewer. My guiding rule—which I sometimes break—is Possible, but Not Likely. For example, it’s possible for a vole to sit on a cigarette box and float down a river, but it is not likely. On the other hand, dinosaurs didn’t have laptops and headphones, so I would not draw that.”

The matchbox series “Strike Your Fancy,” which Miller made in collaboration with her husband Ravi Zupa, shows cats staying out late and making dicey decisions.

No droopy drawers: the Munsingwear Men

Whenever I find a vast trove of ads for Munsingwear men's underwear, it's a happy day. I have sixteen million of them now and am trying to re-format them to fit my little old blog. The homoerotic subtext in these is - well, it's jaw-dropping, though I suppose language was different then. But men didn't talk to other men about their underwear back then.  Men didn't talk to ANYONE about their underwear. Ever.

The reason I made these gifs is that this collection quickly became unmanageable. They bred like homoerotic rabbits. I mean. FORTY ads for Munsingwear underwear, FORTY guys "joshing" each other in highly suggestive language like "maybe YOU should get stuffed"? I had to cut it down some way, and ended up mutilating them in a way which doesn't really do them justice. You just have to read all that delicious dialogue, the long, detailed discussions about stretchy seats, bias cut, leg room and mild vs. firm support. Pouch talk, all of it. But the long, skinny format of these magazine ads is too awkward. I'd thought of dividing up the collection into four parts, and finally thought, fuck that idea! Maybe YOU oughta get stuffed.

 

Beauties on the boulevard

Would you let this man babysit your daughter?

Clair

Gilbert O'Sullivan

Clair
The moment I met you, I swear.
I felt as if something, somewhere,
Had happened to me, which I couldn't see.

And then, the moment I met you, again.
I knew in my heart that we were friends.
It had to be so, it couldn't be no.

But try as hard as I might do, I don't know why.
You get to me in a way I can't describe.
Words mean so little when you look up and smile.
I don't care what people say, to me you're more than a child.
Oh Clair. Clair ...

Clair
If ever a moment so rare
Was captured for all to compare.
That moment is you in all that you do.

But why in spite of our age difference do I cry.
Each time I leave you I feel I could die.
Nothing means more to me than hearing you say,
"I'm going to marry you. Will you marry me, Uncle Ray?"
Oh Clair Clair ...

  Gilbert O'Sullivan with the Girl who Makes Him No. 1 Today

Clair
I've told you before "Don't you dare!"
"Get back into bed."
"Can't you see that it's late."
"No you can't have a drink."
"Oh allright then, but wait just a minute."
While I, in an effort to babysit, catch up on my breath,
What there is left of it.
You can be murder at this hour of the day.
But in the morning the sun will see my lifetime away.
Oh Clair Clair ...
Oh Clair

OK then! Clair. Nobody seemed to object to this song at all when it first came out in the early '70s, but since then there are (clearly) two "Clair camps".

The first believes the song has a subtext of sexual attraction to a child which is kind of creepy. Or, at least, the language used to describe their relationship is kind of disturbing.

The other is utterly indignant that anyone could even THINK such a thing about a sweet, totally innocent song like this one. Such filthy minds! Such perverts! And now the grown-up Clair herself has come forth to insist that "Uncle Ray" is really the sweetest man, and nothing untoward ever happened between them.

Well, it's likely it never did. But let me go through this thing one line at a time, and it'll tell you why I am 3/4 in the first camp. Oh, maybe only half.

Clair
The moment I met you, I swear.
I felt as if something, somewhere,
Had happened to me, which I couldn't see.

These are lines which would be much more appropriate in an adult love song. Surely, they wouldn't fly today in the current atmosphere of sensitivity around child abuse. The third line MIGHT have a sexual connotation, though it's not clear (and Clair means "clear", after all). "Something, somewhere" - it's not spelled out, because it can't be, or shouldn't be? It's hard to tell. Anyway, it seems to bespeak something "deep" that would normally be associated with a traditional love song. How normal is it to dedicate such ambiguous lines to a small child?

And then, the moment I met you, again.
I knew in my heart that we were friends.
It had to be so, it couldn't be no.

Actually, these lines seem pretty normal. But then comes:

But try as hard as I might do, I don't know why.
You get to me in a way I can't describe.

Why do I find those lines so disturbing? They can't mean anything except "I'm trying and trying, but I can't understand why you're getting to me " - getting to me? A child, someone else's child? 

Words mean so little when you look up and smile -
I don't care what people say, to me you're more than a child.
Oh Clair. Clair ...

This is likely the most contentious verse in the whole thing. "More than a child" means - what? An adult friend, a soul-mate - a woman? It's ambiguous, but in my mind leaves a little too much space to be comfortable.

Even those who vehemently deny any sort of romantic subtext in the song have a hard time with this one."I don't care what people say" actually points to people's objection to him spending so much time with a little girl. By implication, at least, people are talking about him (and her). Otherwise, why would he have to deny that it bothers him?

Clair
If ever a moment so rare
Was captured for all to compare.
That moment is you in all that you do.

Again, these are love-song lyrics, bespeaking a relationship between a grown man and a little girl that just feels too close, too superlative, like the balladeer placing his love object above all else.

But why in spite of our age difference do I cry.
Each time I leave you I feel I could die.

Wow! Maybe THIS is the dynamite verse, and I don't see how the pure and innocent camp can defend a grown man, not even a relative, saying he wants to DIE every time he leaves her. And that mention of age differerence - how could this NOT be creepy?

Nothing means more to me than hearing you say,
"I'm going to marry you. Will you marry me, Uncle Ray?"
Oh Clair Clair ...
Well. Little girls often say they're going to marry their Daddies, but this isn't her her Daddy. And this has so much importance to him that he says "nothing means more to me. . . " Subsequent versions of the song substituted "Oh, hoo-ray!" in place of "Uncle Ray", but isn't that some sort admission that a little girl proposing to a grown man is - somehow inappropriate?

Clair
I've told you before "Don't you dare!"
"Get back into bed."
"Can't you see that it's late."
"No you can't have a drink."
"Oh allright then, but wait just a minute."
While I, in an effort to babysit, catch up on my breath,
What there is left of it.
You can be murder at this hour of the day.
But in the morning the sun will see my lifetime away.
Oh Clair Clair ...

Oh Clair

Then something interesting happens.The lyric switches to something as ordinary as that awful Bobby Goldsboro song, That's My Boy: "Gotta have a drink of water and a story read, a teddy bear named Fred, that's my boy." A standard story of babysitting with a girl he is deeply in love with. Or so it seems. And yet, and yet. The continued repeat of "Clair" becomes a sort of cry - of longing? Of the completion of some sort of emptiness in him?

And I've just counted. He speaks her name TEN TIMES. Ten! 

Creepy.

Do I think this song is supposed to be about a sexual relationship between a man and a little girl? I don't think so. But there's something seductive about it, a gut-lurching obsession that really shouldn't be there. The pro-Clair set insists that NOTHING is going on that shouldn't be, that it is all completely innocent. I think they mean "he isn't molesting her," which I don't think think he is. And they think anyone who even has a thought in that direction is a filthy pervert.

But is he obsessed with her? Is she "more than a child" to him? Does he want to die when he has to leave her? Does he wish they were closer in age, so they could try something more adult? All these elements are in the song somewhere, along with all the repeats of her name, and that delightful laugh at the end.

And the "real Clair" is trotted out again and again, insisting that "Uncle Ray" was perfectly lovely to her and never did anything he shouldn't. But that doesn't change the obsessive love and longing in the lyrics of that song. Nor does it change the fact that O'Sullivan - not Clair - became famous and made a lot of money from the song.

POST-POST. Clair reminded me of a famous poem by a famous man, about an even more famous girl. And no, I don't think they had a sexual relationship. And yes, I believe he was obsessed with her, throughout all of his life. It made him famous.

Child of the pure unclouded brow

And dreaming eyes of wonder!
Though time be fleet, and I and thou
Are half a life asunder,
Thy loving smile will surely hail
The love-gift of a fairy-tale.

I have not seen thy sunny face,
Nor heard thy silver laughter;
No thought of me shall find a place
In thy young life’s hereafter –
Enough that now thou wilt not fail
To listen to my fairy-tale.

Lewis Carroll

And another post to the post. Take a look at the last photo of Gilbert O'Sullivan holding Clair. There's something odd about it. I don't know why it is, but some areas of his hand look as if they have been obscured. Why would this be? Every version of this photo that I could find had this weird sort of photoshop.

Go into the arts

Dad's pudding

Cat hugs salt rock - no, really

Ricola!!!

Strawberry cat

                             Rescuing Strawberry.

Uglify

I feel like crap today - I mean, REALLY like crap, to the point that my hands won't obey me and place multiple mistakes in every word.

There is a reason for this, but I don't want to say it.

What brought all this up was a "hello" from a new Facebook friend. An OK thing, right? He asked how I was doing. I was reminded of the line from Bob Dylan's Desolation Row: "When you asked me how I was doing/Was that some kind of joke ?"

No, he was only messaging me the way anyone would message me now that we have a sort of cheery Rocky-and-Bullwinkle relationship on Facebook.

I was supposed to say, "Oh, fine!", the way you're supposed to, but I felt too drecky to do that. I can't even TYPE this morning without making ludicrous mistakes (nine corrections in the word "can't"). But since he is a brand new 
friend, and just being friendly, I don't feel comfortable even implying how I actually feel.

It's the social media bind.

Really, all you can say is "Hi!', like on Rocky and Bullwinkle. Or you'll get a sympathetic,"Ohhh! What's wrong? Tell me all about it." Just being friendly, or concerned, the way you are supposed to be on social media.

Then you'll be totally stuck. It's not even appropriate to tell him how you feel, because the truth is, you don't know him.

I haven't yet found the expression that will encompass both "Fine!" and "I feel like shit today!' I realize I might even lose a few followers if I say what I really feel. One is a lie, the other leaves you wide open to someone you don't even know.

I have to assume I am not the only person in the social media world who has experienced this bind. If not, well, it's back to the playground , standing in the corner watching everyone else skipping, skipping, skipping. 

Norah Alice in the night

                      For she has seen Aurora

                      Borealis burning bright.

Mojo in chrome

                                          Moan, moan, moan.
                   
                   

Jane pushes the broom

This post was originally going to be about Tarzan and Jane, and how Jane's costume radically changed between 1934 (Tarzan and his Mate, with the infamous nude swimming scene) and Tarzan Escapes in 1936, in which she wore something like gym bloomers coming all the way up to her neck and all the way down to her knees. But I couldn't find a video clip that illustrated all that, so I couldn't make any gifs.

So I used Betty Boop instead.

Nowhere is the repressive, soul-deadening Hays Code more vividly displayed than in Betty's change from a hot little floozie to a housewife pushing a broom. I mean, LITERALLY pushing a broom! In Tarzan Escapes, Tarzan and Jane had enough physicality and emotional chemistry to somehow imply a sexual relationship - still pretty taboo, given the fact that they weren't married.

There is one gorgeous scene, which I can't find, in which Jane lies back langorously by the river, managing to look sexy in the unsexiest clothing imagineable. Tarzan gives her a tropical flower, towering over her as she looks up in a kind of half-frightened awe (and in case you haven't seen one of these for a while, Tarzan is quite rough on Jane and even overwhelms her). The way he silently falls to his knees says it all, as does her hand as it slowly and langorously lets go of the flower so that it slides into the current.

So they got around it, with the finest acting and directing, and the best body in Hollywood.

But poor Betty Boop. Just look at her! Navy blue dress, looking like some military surplus, skirt even below the knees and shoulders decently covered. She would never be the same. For she belonged to the boop-a-doop '20s and early '30s, before the forces of suffocating decency descended like a toxic cloud.

And yet, what she's wearing in the other three is - even by today's standards - kind of scanty. Hell, in that hula scene she's hardly wearing anything at all! She even breaks the sacred Disney blurred-nipple rule for a split-second. Would that be acceptable for family viewing today?

P., S. I found it! I found it! This is the most erotic scene in the whole erotic Tarzan series.  And yet, they get around the Hays code very nicely, flouting those repressive rules. Maureen O'Sullivan does it with her face, and Weismuller with that incredible body.