How not to do a search (or find anything)

Listen, I was just trying to find something on a site called, I think, SilentComedyMafia.com. So I thought I'd see what they had on Harold Lloyd. Their system seemed designed to help me NOT find ANYTHING EVER. I have no idea what a wildcard is. I will never look up this site again.

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(Oh-but-there's-more. There's always more. Poking a little deeper into the site, I found just ONE page of about 15 pages of regulations you must follow before even looking at the site, let alone posting a message. Don't read this, please - I use it only as an example of how a web site can drive you into the woods before you even use it.)

SILENTCOMEDYMAFIA.COM WEBSITE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF USE

Last Updated: July 2009

PLEASE READ THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF USE CAREFULLY. BY ACCESSING OR USING THIS WEBSITE, YOU AGREE TO BE BOUND BY THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS DESCRIBED HEREIN AND BY ALL TERMS, POLICIES AND GUIDELINES INCORPORATED BY REFERENCE. IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO ALL OF THESE TERMS, DO NOT USE THIS WEBSITE.

These terms and conditions of use ("Site Terms") apply to your use of this website (the "Site"). By using this Site, you represent and warrant that you are lawfully able to accept these Site Terms.

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This Site is owned by SilentComedyMafia.com (SCM). Unless otherwise indicated, all of the content featured or displayed on this Site, including, but not limited to, text, graphics, data, photographic images, moving images, sound, illustrations, software, and the selection and arrangement thereof, is owned by SilentComedyMafia.com, its members, or its third-party associates.

All elements of the Site, including the SCM name and logo, are protected by copyright, trademark and other laws relating to the protection of intellectual property.

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This Site is intended for members and associates of The Silent Comedy Mafia. You may not use this Site or the content for any purpose without the express written permission of SCM administration and / or the posting author. You are specifically prohibited from: (a) downloading, copying, or re-transmitting any or all of the Site, data or the content, for any non-educational use, without written license or agreement with SCM or the posting member; (b) using the Site or the content other than for its intended purpose. Such unauthorized use may also violate applicable laws including without limitation copyright and trademark laws, the laws of privacy and publicity, and applicable communications regulations and statutes.

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In accordance with applicable laws, SCM has adopted a policy of terminating, in appropriate circumstances and at SCM's sole discretion, account holders who infringe the intellectual property rights of SCM or any third party.

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We may give notice of a claim of copyright infringement by means of a general notice on the Site, electronic mail to a user's e-mail address, or by written communication sent to a user's address.

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The Site may include discussion forums or other interactive areas or services, including blogs, chat rooms, bulletin boards, message board or other areas or services in which you or third parties create, post or store any content, messages, comments, materials or other items on the Site ("Interactive Areas"). You are solely responsible for your use of such Interactive Areas and use them at your own risk. By using any Interactive Areas, you agree not to post, upload, transmit, distribute, store, create or otherwise publish through the Site any of the following:

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c. User Content that may infringe any trademark, copyright or other intellectual property or contract right of any party. By posting any User Content, you represent and warrant that you have the lawful right to transmit, distribute and reproduce such User Content.

SCM takes no responsibility and assumes no liability for any User Content posted, stored or uploaded by you or any third party, or for any loss or damage thereto, nor is SCM liable for any mistakes, defamation, slander, libel, omissions, falsehoods, obscenity, or profanity you may encounter. Your use of Interactive Areas is at your own risk. As a provider of interactive services, SCM is not liable for any statements, representations or User Content provided by its users in any public forum or other Interactive Area. Although SCM has no obligation to screen, edit or monitor any of the User Content posted in any Interactive Area, SCM reserves the right, and has absolute discretion, to remove, screen or edit any User Content posted or stored on the Site at any time and for any reason without notice. You are solely responsible for creating backup copies of and replacing any User Content you post or store on the Site at your sole cost and expense. Any use of the Interactive Areas or other portions of the Site in violation of the foregoing violates these Site Terms and may result in, among other things, termination or suspension of your rights to use the Interactive Areas and/or the Site. You represent and warrant that (a) you own and control all of the rights to the User Content that you post or you otherwise have the right to post such User Content to the Site; (b) the User Content is accurate and not misleading; and (c) use and posting of the User Content you supply does not violate these Site Terms and will not violate any rights of or cause injury to any person or entity.

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You agree to defend, indemnify and hold harmless SCM, its members and associates against any claims, damages, costs, liabilities and expenses arising out of or related to any User Content that you post, store or otherwise transmit on or through the Site, your conduct, your use or inability to use the Site, your breach or alleged breach of the Site Terms or of any representation or warranty contained herein, your unauthorized use of the Content, or your violation of any rights of another.

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THIS SITE AND THE CONTENT ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND SCM AND ITS MEMBERS, ASSOCIATES, CONTENT PROVIDERS, AND AFFILIATES EXCLUDE, TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW, ANY WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED. SCM WILL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES OF ANY KIND ARISING FROM THE USE OF THIS SITE OR THE CONTENT, OR THE UNAVAILABILITY OF THE SAME. THE FUNCTIONS EMBODIED ON OR IN THE MATERIALS OF THIS SITE ARE NOT WARRANTED TO BE UNINTERRUPTED OR WITHOUT ERROR. YOU, NOT SCM, ASSUME ALL RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY OUTCOME DUE TO YOUR USE OF THIS SITE OR THE CONTENT. 

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IN NO EVENT SHALL SCM, ITS MEMBERS, OR ASSOCIATES BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, SPECIAL, INDIRECT OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES, OR ANY OTHER DAMAGES OF ANY KIND, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO LOSS OF USE, LOSS OF DATA OR OTHERWISE, ARISING OUT OF OR IN ANY WAY CONNECTED WITH THE USE OF THE SITE, THE SERVICES, THE CONTENT OR THE MATERIALS CONTAINED IN OR ACCESSED THROUGH THE SITE, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION ANY DAMAGES CAUSED BY OR RESULTING FROM RELIANCE BY USER ON ANY INFORMATION OBTAINED FROM SCM, OR THAT RESULT FROM MISTAKES, OMISSIONS, INTERRUPTIONS, DELETION OF FILES OR EMAIL, ERRORS, DEFECTS, VIRUSES, DELAYS IN OPERATION OR TRANSMISSION OR ANY FAILURE OF PERFORMANCE, WHETHER OR NOT RESULTING FROM ACTS OF GOD, COMMUNICATIONS FAILURE, THEFT, DESTRUCTION OR UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS TO SCM RECORDS, PROGRAMS OR SERVICES. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE AGGREGATE LIABILITY OF SCM EXCEED ANY COMPENSATION YOU PAY, IF ANY, TO SCM FOR ACCESS TO OR USE OF THE SITE.

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SCM reserves the right to change any of the terms and conditions contained in the Site Terms or any policy or guideline of the Site, at any time and in its sole discretion. Any changes will be effective immediately upon posting on the Site. Your continued use of the Site following the posting of changes will constitute your acceptance of such changes.

© 2009 SilentComedyMafia.com. All rights reserved.SCM AdminSite Admin Posts: 3Joined: Sun May 17, 2009 4:05 pm

(Post-blahhhg thoughts: hmmmm, the word Mafia may apply here, in some obscure way. But I don't know how.)

  Visit Margaret's Amazon Author Page!

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B001K7NGDA

And he glittered when he walked

Richard Cory

BY EDWIN ARLINGTON ROBINSON

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,

We people on the pavement looked at him:

He was a gentleman from sole to crown,

Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,

And he was always human when he talked;

But still he fluttered pulses when he said,

"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich—yes, richer than a king—

And admirably schooled in every grace:

In fine, we thought that he was everything

To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,

And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;

And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,

Went home and put a bullet through his head.

I remember that we "took" this poem in school, way back in Grade 7 or thereabouts, and the chagrin, the consternation of the class: "But why did he DO that?" "He had everything." "Everyone envied him." "It's not fair." "It's a joke, isn't it?" " That would never happen."

My "favorite" was this lovely statement, which I have heard echoed many times and from many people - I mean adults who should know better, not kids:

"You kill yourself because you're crazy, and you're only crazy if you want to be."

I wonder now, if that kid is still alive, whether he thinks the same way.

I'm not supposed to think about any of this, of course. As one writer said, Robin Williams' death caused many people to suddenly come out of the closet and proclaim, "Yes, me too". But where are they now? No doubt they have retreated in terror, hoping against hope that no one remembers their foolishness.

I've written about this before. Halloween is coming, and in the past I've seen "mental patient" costumes, often with restraints and lurid "nurses" with syringes full of "sedatives". It's funny, isn't it? Come on. Come on, don't you have a sense of humour?

No. If that's what humour is, then no.

My brother was in these "loony bins", "nut wards", etc., on and off for years. I loved him dearly, and by his own admission he was not just crazy but "ca-RAZY". Eerily, I used to compare him to Robin Williams in his madcap ability to riff on outrageous themes, putting on characters and taking them off like masks, only to change at light speed to another subject entirely. One time he did a riff on the '60s TV show The Real McCoys, doing every voice from Grandpa to Luke to Little Luke to Hassie to  Kate to - his personal favorite - Pepino. Some of it was so x-rated that we fell out of our chairs.

He died in 1980, not of suicide as almost everyone assumes, but an accident. Two months later, John Lennon was shot and killed. It was a point of despair in my life.

So what is it about people who seem to have everything, who do themselves in anyway? I think of Phillip Seymour Hoffman, relapsing most awfully into a habit he thought he had beaten. I think of Amy Winehouse drinking a gallon of vodka and poisoning herself at age 27. I think we think they are immune. Not just that they are rich and famous, but loved - aren't they loved, too, I mean by friends and family?

Are they? Is there - is there balm in Gilead?

I have already published a couple of eerily similar photos of Robin Williams with dear friends who hold him so tenderly, he looks like a baby bird fallen from the nest. I once read that people who don't feel loved are like sawdust dolls with a tiny hole in the bottom. It keeps trickling out, almost imperceptibly, until the person is desperate for more supplies to keep from bleeding out.

What got all this started again? Well, it's close to Halloween which makes me think of all those awful mental patient costumes, totally dehumanizing but seen as ghoulishly funny, and CERTAINLY not anything to be offended about.  (You're too sensitive, you know? That's your whole problem.) We don't have Parkinson's or MS or ALS Halloween costumes, but then again, these illnesses are "physical", "real", no one's fault, with the sufferers seen as dignified and courageous, and therefore not frightening or subject to mockery. After all, it would be in very poor taste. 

 It's also from remembering Williams, who seems to have died a very long time ago (but at the same time, only yesterday), but most of all it's because yesterday I bought Billy Crystal's memoir, Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys? It's typical self-deprecating Crystal humour, but not excoriating, with a sweetness, a gentleness that I have always loved about him. In fact, he is my favorite comedian.

He and Robin Williams were best friends. Closer than brothers, in many ways. This book was written and published before his suicide, but on the back is a quote from Williams that now seems poignant and unsettling: "This book is kick-ass funny and truly unique. A Hollywood autobiography with only one wife, no rehab, a loving family, and loyal friends."

I wonder if Williams secretly feared he had none of those things. It's a bit scary that he focused on that, as if to shame himself for having three wives and multiple trips to rehab.  To imply, almost, that Crystal was a superior version of himself - or, at least, not so scarred, not so vulnerable.

I don't want to go much farther into this because I don't fancy triggering off a lousy day of depression. It wouldn't do anything to change the situation. But oh how I wish people would wake up. I thought of a scenario that might have saved him - everyone has a theory, so here goes, here is mine:

He is pacing the floor, both despondent and frantic, knowing there is no way out of the crushing adversity that is coming at him from all sides. Soon he will be paralyzed from Parkinson's, his career will be over, and he won't be able to take part in the cycling that has kept him sane. Rehab did no good at all and made everything worse. He looks back with shame over the battlefield of his life, and for that moment he can't see anything good about it. At all. He has made a mess of things, and there is only one way out.

Though it is agonizing to do, though he has to stand up to an immense shame that is nearly overwhelming, he goes over to the phone, picks up the receiver, dials 9-1-1.

"Hello. I'm going to kill myself. Come get me, please. NOW."

CODA. From Leonard Bernstein's Mass. I used to carry this around written on a little piece of paper. Once a counsellor took it from me and read it in a sing-songy, Betty Crocker voice, then handed it back to me saying, "Oh, that's nice."

I don't know where to start

There are scars I could show

If I opened my heart

But how far, Lord, how far can I go?

I don't know. 

What I say I don't feel

What I feel I don't show

What I show isn't real

What is real, Lord

I don't know 

No, no, no. . . I don't know.