Friday, July 6, 2018

Golden lotus: the binding of women's souls




Blogger's note. Foot binding was a practice which was almost universal in China for nearly a thousand years. It was only banned in the early 20th century, though it was carried on in secret for many decades. Little girls had their feet contorted and crushed into the “ideal” measurement of three or four inches. A powerful fetish sprang up around this hideous practice, with men becoming “connaisseurs” of foot deformity and the various ways in which the instep buckled and the toes were crushed into lifelessness. Feng Jicai’s novel The Three-Inch Golden Lotus is both brilliant and hair-raising in exposing a barbaric, horrifying practice which made little girls marriageable and desirable, providing their only chance to “marry up” and save their families from destitution. Many say Jicai's novel is satiric, not just uncovering a shame from the past but holding up present-day social atrocity for close, uncomfortable scrutiny.





In this excerpt, Fragrant Lotus, a five-year-old girl who already has beautiful tiny feet, is initiated into womanhood by her beloved grandmother. To start the process, she forcibly breaks the little girl’s toes and folds them under the sole.






















“Granny’s hands moved fast. She was afraid Fragrant Lotus would start to kick and scream, so she quickly completed the binding. She wrapped the bandage around the four toes, down to the arch, up over the instep, behind the heel, and then quickly forward, over the four toes once again. . . Fragrant Lotus’ mind was filled with waves of pain and pinching, folding and contortion. . . The four toes, now next to the arch, were locked firmly in place, as if by metal bands. They were unable to move, even a minute fraction of an inch.





























“. . . She set about collecting shards of broken bowls, spread them on the ground, and smashed them into small, sharp bits. The next time she rebound Fragrant Lotus’ feet, she put the bits of porcelain inside the bandages, along the soles of her feet. When Fragrant Lotus walked, the pottery bits cut into her skin. . . The cut feet suffocated by the bandages became swollen, inflamed, and pus formed in the wounds. Whenever the bindings were changed, the old bandage had to be ripped off, tearing off pus and chunks of rotten flesh. This was an old method in the north China foot-binding tradition. Only when the bones were shattered and the flesh was putrid could the feet be properly molded into the most desirable shape.”























ENOUGH! We won’t get into the way Granny pulls out Fragrant Lotus’ toenails and pounds her feet with a rolling pin to make them more malleable. Though I am sure Jicai did his research with the utmost care (it matches everything I’ve ever found on the subject), at a certain point it becomes too headspinningly horrendous to even take in. How many millions of little girls had their childhood stolen from them in this way, forced to live the rest of their lives with a literally crippling deformity?
































But even this isn’t the worst. Jicai also delves into the creepy fetishes men developed around bound feet, which were sometimes unwrapped and “played with” in the marriage bed. Foot competitions, in which feet were judged on size and shape (the smaller and pointier the better) were a common diversion, with women hiding behind screens so that only their deformed feet showed in their three-or-four inch, gorgeously-embroidered, teeteringly high-heeled shoes.



















Because of her exquisitely-bound feet, Fragrant Lotus has “married up” into a wealthy family with a typical foot obsession. An impromptu foot contest springs up when a number of perverted old men show up to indulge their fetish. Mr. Lu, a self-appointed expert on the subject, begins to expound: 




“Small feet are beautiful or ugly based on their overall appearance, which can be further divided into two elements: shape and form. Let us discuss shape first. There are six terms to describe shape: short, narrow, thin, smooth, upright, and pointed. Short refers to the foot’s length from back to front, and it should be short, not long. Narrow refers to the breadth of the foot from side to side, and it should be narrow, not wide. . . "




"Pointed refers to the toes, which should not be blunt but should come to a sharp point. If they have a slight upward turn, they are even more seductive. However, the degree of upturn should be just right. Too much will cause the point to stand upright, like a scorpion’s tail;  too little and it will droop downward, like a rat’s tail. Neither of these will do. And that, gentlemen, completes the discussion of the shape of the lotus.”






























It goes on and on from there, for pages and pages, as various points of confirmation are discussed in detail as if the men are talking about flower varieties or dog breeds. The longer you think about this, the worse it gets: these crushed feet are being celebrated, the women’s lifelong crippling lifted up as rare beauty. The most unbelievable aspect of all this is the true meaning of the term “fragrant”: what it comes down to, as far as I can tell, is the horrid whiff of dead flesh coming from the rotting toes.

From a foot binding site come these startling revelations
:




“Men who were turned on by bound feet were referred to as “lotus lovers”. They were aroused by the mysterious feet and were thrilled when the cotton covers were taken off. They inhaled the fragrant aroma and took delight in smelling the bared flesh. The husbands would fondle the foot in the palms of his hand before gradually caressing it with his mouth. He would place watermelon seeds or almonds between the toes before eating them from the woman’s foot. Beside these strange fetishes some men would drink the water that had previously been used to bathe the feet. The bound feet would be treasured like gold.”






When Fragrant Lotus loses the foot competition, not by inferior feet but a cheap pair of shoes, she decides to commit suicide: “In the Tong family if your feet were bad, you were finished. This family was like a chessboard, and bound feet were the individual chessmen. One false move and the game changed completely.”

Her only solution is to consult with a foot binding expert who says her feet are not "bowed" enough to be truly beautiful and must be rebound. ("Bowed" refers to the buckling upward of the crushed instep, forcing the front of the ankle to bulge outward.) Thus she experiences the torture of her girlhood all over again in order to gain favor in her own family.






The Three-Inch Golden Lotus isn’t history so much as social satire. Jicai seems to be whispering to us beneath the fascinatingly awful story: “Have things really changed so much?”  Instruments of torture, all the various means of squeezing, deforming, removing, wrenching out of shape and cutting away: they are all part of woman’s presence on earth. 










































Corsets, high heels, female circumcision, clitoridectomy, where does it stop? Now women are having surgery on their feet to “correct” problems that might keep them from wearing the five-inch skyscraper heels that are currently in fashion. In fact, the newest invention is the "ballet" heel in which the wearer literally walks on the ends of her toes with seven-inch stilts under her heels.







All in the name of fashion, but why? Do women do this for each other? Why are men so afraid of women? Why won’t they let us walk, breathe, have an orgasm? Why was being deformed and crippled such a sexual turn-on in an advanced civilization for a thousand years? Do we really think all this pain is part of the past, has come to an end? Why do women collude with men in taking on so much pain in order to be “beautiful”? What’s beautiful? And why?




Please note. This is a summer repeat, but from 2011 (!), so I didn't think too many people would remember it. The line spacing may be a bit "off". This is one of my few posts  that actually got some views, though I'm not sure it will play the second time.

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Over-smoked: the miracle of Marlboro








                                                                                   

The "miracle", of course, is that these ads were allowed to run at all. They have a bizarre beauty to them, a sort of otherworldliness which I HOPE reflects how much attitudes have changed.

Or not?

CAN attitudes change on a sort of mass level? If they don't, where are we headed? Will this be a slow process, or will we all too quickly plunge headlong into the abyss ?

I grew up in the '60s, when anything seemed possible. Civil rights, women's lib, enlightenment towards the disabled and mentally ill, hope for the poor and marginalized.

What has happened to all that passion and progress?

I feel a great sucking force dragging us backwards. It's not a simple matter of  being "over-smoked". The news is becoming more intolerable by the day. When I was a kid, shows like The Twilight Zone were already trying to tell us how intolerable it would be to live in a world run by technology.

There was also this recurring theme of political oppression, a leftover from the Second World War when Fascism came terrifyingly close to achieving world domination. 

Is political oppression winning now? Don't ask me, I'm not political, but I do care. I suppose it's too late for me, but I care about the sort of world my grandchildren will inherit.

So the point of all this rambling is: should I have hope? In a few short decades, these cute ads showing babies selling cigarettes became distasteful, then shocking, then completely unacceptable. Having been normalized and even considered a social necessity, cigarettes became heavily stigmatized and thrust outside the bounds of acceptability. Compared to the usual rate of social change, all this happened at light speed.

Can this happen with other things? I mean, right now? WILL it happen, and what will be our fate if it doesn't? The ruthless unravelling of all the passionate progress I've ever seen is  breaking my heart. Our chains are being buckled back on, and it looks like there's nothing we can do about it. It's over, that great experiment in social enlightenment which (supposedly) changed everything. 

Isn't it? Tell me it isn't - I will take any good news I can get.


Saturday, June 30, 2018

What NOT to say to a depressed person


What NOT to say to a depressed person


(A summer repeat, but worth saying again. I believe, at one point or another, I have heard all of these. When a major figure commits suicide, we dust off a lot of homilies, and repeat "reach out for help" with the same regularity as that other meaningless phrase, "thoughts and prayers". It's sad that the onus for "reaching out" is thoughtlessly placed on the suffering person, as if it's an easy thing to do and as if they wouldn't have done it already if they could - and if the help were there. By the responses below, I would say that, in general, it is not.)


 


“It’s all in your mind.”

“You just need to give yourself a good swift kick in the rear.”

“No one ever said life was fair.”

“I think you enjoy wallowing in it."

"Depression is a choice, you know."

“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”






"There are a lot of people worse off than you.”

“But it’s a beautiful day!”

“You have so many things to be thankful for!”

“You just want attention.”

“Happiness is a choice, you know.”


"Just read this book. It'll fix you right up."

“Everything happens for a reason.”





“There is always somebody worse off than you are.”

“You should get off all those pills.”

“You are what you think you are.”

“Cheer up!”

“Have you been praying/reading your Bible?”


"People who meditate don't get depressed."

“You need to get out more.”




"Don't you have a sense of humour?"

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

“Get a job!”

“Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone.”

"Just read this book. It'll fix you right up."

“But you don’t look depressed. You seem fine to me.”

“You can do anything you want if you just set your mind to it.”




“Snap out of it, will you? You have no reason to feel this way.”

“I wish I had the luxury of being depressed.”

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”

"Just read this book. It'll fix you right up."

"Do you want your family to suffer along with you?"

“Can't you at least make an effort?"




“Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. I was depressed once for several

days.”

“Turn it over to your Higher Power.”

“I think your depression is a way of punishing us.”

“So, you’re depressed. Aren’t you always?”

“You’re always so negative! Look on the bright side.”




“What you need is some real tragedy in your life to give you perspective.”

"You're a writer, aren't you? Just think of all the good material you're

getting out of this."

“Have you tried camomile tea?”

"I TOLD you to read that book."




"Go out and help someone who is worse off than you and you won't

have time to brood."


“You have to take up your bed and carry on.”

“Well, we all have our crosses to bear.”

"God never gives us more than we can handle."

"I was depressed until I tried yoga."

“You don’t like feeling that way? Change it!"

“SMILE!”





Friday, June 29, 2018

Baffled reporters: or, whatever happened to Stone Phillips?




It seems that every 2 or 3 years or so - OK, make that every 5 or 6 years - I find myself wondering,"wha
tever happened to Stone Phillips?" The fact that no one even seems to ask any more alarms me even more than the fact that he seems to have dropped off the face of the earth.

I squeezed the internet and wrung it, picked it up and shook it by its heels, and nothing came out. He does have a sort of website, Stone Phillips Reports, which has the same two stories on it that it had five years ago.

Finally I found something, sort of, but it was so hilarious I just had to reproduce it in its entirety here. You know by now, beloved readers (all eleven of you!)that I love nonsensical, ungrammatical, completely opaque writing more than anything, and I found it here. They keep calling him The Stone, which I like, and one whole sentence is, "Stone".




Where is Stone Philips Recently? Any Mark Of Him in 2017? Is He Married Or Dating Someone? Find More About His Career, Relationships, And Much More


Posted by MarriedBiography on June 19, 2017 | In Career , Child , Married , Net Worth , Relationship

Google +

Being a public figure, a person is committed to dragging people towards his profession and personal life. As people are different and so their view, all the stars have various views regarding talking about their personal life. Not every celebrity like sharing their personal life and prefer screening it with their profession. The veteran American television reporter Stone Phillips is also one of those leading lights who always kept his career before his personal life.

Stone is the famous as the former co-anchor of Dateline NBC Stone. As Stone has now disappeared after some groundbreaking reports. Has he retired or are there any traces of him in 2017? Scroll to find where is he currently. And also let’s dig a little much in his personal
 life. 




Where is Stone Philips currently? Find out about his successful career here!!

Stone Phillips has become one of the most capable and baffled reporters with a number of groundbreaking news. But now who would have assumed that he would leave some day with no any marks?

Stone has provided some of the most difficult interviews of the time to the shows like Dateline NBC and 20/20. But after he disappeared, he hasn’t shown any hint about his comeback now. He neither has declared his retirement nor has shared his plans of coming back as an expert reporter. However, according to his Twitter bio, he worked with PBS station in a documentary Moving With Grace. Sixty-two-years-old Stone Phillips earlier worked as ABC News reporter for World News Tonight and 20/20. Afterward, he joined NBC where he is known for resembling as a fill-in anchor for Today and NBC Nightly News. He is also known for making his presence as a substitute moderator on Meet the Press.

However, it is believed that he had been receiving a pleasant salary from his profession. Though he has been hiding his net worth since a long time. Yet he never disclosed, his net worth is believed to be in millions.

Personal Life and Relationship Details of the famous former anchor Stone Philips 





American reporter Stone Phillips was born on December 2, 1954. He was born to parents Victor and Grace Phillips in Texas City, Texas. Stone. He grew up with his brother Victor III and sister Minta. Stone was an acolyte at St. Martin’s Episcopal Church as a boy. He visited Parkway West High School where he was a starting quarterback on the football team. For the graduation, he went to Yale University where he won the Ivy League football championship as starting quarterback for the Yale Bulldogs squad. He graduated from the Yale University with a bachelor’s degree in philosophy in the year 1977.

Going through the Stone’s personal life, he is married to Debra Del Toro-Phillips. Stone’s wife Debra is known as one of the successful persons in the fashion industry. She also has received master’s degree in social work. 





The couple together is blessed with a son named Streeter Phillips who was born in 1988. They had a daughter too who was born in August 1995. But unfortunately, she passed away the same day of her birth. During his long journey towards the very successful career, he hasn’t much opened up about his personal life. As Stone has always been keeping his personal behind the curtains, there is no more information about his wife and children.

(Please note. The family photograph that appeared with this article has nothing to do with The Stone Phillips. It is some other family entirely.)