Thursday, August 10, 2017

WHEN CRANES ATTACK!













Bears run! 
Gators hide!
Poor little kitty
Gonna go for a ride!
Dogs scamper
Flowers cringe
And the poor armadillo
Is going off its hinge
IT'S THE CRANES
(the cranes)
THE CRANES
(the cranes)
The rockin' and a-rollin'
Peckin' and a-trollin'
Gopher-eatin', bear chasin', wing-flappin'
SANDHILL CRANES!


The actor: Harold Lloyd's reaction shots








































A memorable Harold Lloyd reaction shot from Girl Shy. Harold plays a yokel whose book "How to Make Love" has just been rejected by a publisher as ridiculous and worthless. But his expression isn't a reaction to that humiliation. This was his one chance to win a very wealthy girl he has fallen in love with, and that dream has just turned to dust.  

This scene proves what Hal Roach famously said: "Harold Lloyd was not a comedian. But he was the best actor playing a comedian who ever lived." Any dramatic actor would be hard-pressed to sustain scenes of emotional distress with such skill. 

He himself didn't think he was very funny, but he could "do" funny superbly. His pathos never turned to bathos, as sometimes happened with Chaplin (whose films are much more dated than Harold's). And as Roach said, Harold was a plausible leading man whose romantic quests weren't vaguely creepy or driven by pity.

Harold didn't wear a clown suit or pull faces or do any of the things silent comics did to get a laugh. He was an ordinary person caught up in extraordinary circumstances, and his complete inability to cope brought the audience on-side like nothing else. But when he triumphed in the end, all of our own failed fantasies were brilliantly realized. 

And one more thing - he always got the girl.








































Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Rescuing Cats From Super Tall Trees





These two guys are my heroes! They're arborists (we used to call them tree surgeons) who have a sideline which is fast becoming a specialty: rescuing cats stuck in trees. The plaintive meowing of these poor little creatures is pathetic to hear, but the reunions with anxious owners is gratifying. They used to be on a show called Treetop Cat Rescue which was on Animal Planet, but they only made about eight episodes (which I keep watching, whenever I need to remind myself that there is MORE to life and the world than the direness, misery and hate we all see on the news every day).

Screenshots: Harold in stop motion


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


This may not look like much to you (and, in fact, it isn't), but for me it represents something big: my first attempt to capture stills from video. I never even tried this for years, because every time I went on a site to find out how to do it, the instructions seemed more and more complex and full of bafflegab (not to mention contradictory, with everyone describing a different method). Then, bingo, I found a page today where you only have to highlight, copy, paste, and click. 

Et voila! You have a screenshot.

The thing of it is, though, that taking a series of screenshots and then putting them back together into an animation is kind of - well, it's a little redundant. An exercise, at best. I tell myself: honest to God, I can't help but learn something about REAL animation this way. But a gif would do just as well, wouldn't it? Or better.

But perhaps not. This way I can edit scenes, add characters, use title cards, include surreal images, and all manner of other stuff, once I know what I'm doing.

This is a kind of stop motion Harold cartoon. Claymation, if you will. His middle name was Clayton, after all. I have fantasies of manipulating this little clay figure, making him do things, even things he doesn't want to do. . . time to go to bed, Margaret.




Tuesday, August 8, 2017

The pre-recorded eye




Who ARE these people?





How I wish I could find out more about this video and the women in it! I found it on a YouTube channel that has hardly anything on it. The song was featured on a couple of movie soundtracks, including Fargo and Brother, Where Art Thou? It's a traditional tune with many versions, but is believed to originate with slaves in the U. S. south, predating the Civil War. Some say it's about a runaway slave; some say, a runaway mother leaving a child behind. What fascinates me about this version is the rhythmic table-thumping and clapping. I love the joy of these singers, but WHO ARE THEY? This is what is so frustrating about YouTube, and about the internet in general: the fragmentary or non-existent information about things you are fascinated with. 

I did find a name, Cartes sur table (cards on the table), but when I clicked on it I got reams of news videos from somewhere, don't know where but "not here". Nothing else. The name of the channel it was on rings no bells. Mystery. 


Nigerian romance scam: one woman's story






wow, I know you must get this compliment every day.. what a beauty, my conscience wont forgive me if I don't say "you look cute"

I was looking through some profile and yours caught my eyes.. so I stop to say a quick "Hello".

Hello Pretty, how are you doing, I saw your profile while surfing through and your profile caught my attention... I will want to know more about you...

Blogger's observation. This message was in my "junk inbox" this morning, the one I'm not supposed to open, so I just had to have a look at it. I've had my share of "hello pretty ladt" and "how you are today?" and stories of lonely men in the military and distance not being an obstacle to romance and blah blah blah (two grown sons, an Irish setter named Champ, bounding along the beach at sunset wearing a Cowichan sweater, etc. etc.)





They want my money, they must, because they (whoever they are - possibly Nigerian scammers) have absolutely no idea who I am. If they're following me on Facebook, my profile pics are of horses and Harold Lloyd. 

The weird thing about this "message" is that it's really three messages glommed together. They're trying to pick me up three times in a row, which is odd. Even if they DID see my actual profile, what I really look like, and so on, I am 63 years old, a grandmother four times over, and decidedly NOT the Hello Pretty type. 

I'm not saying I look "bad". I look 63. Nothing wrong with that, but how many lonely widowers in the military with Irish setters named Champ are after 60-something pensioners with no money?






The thing of it is, this shit must work. All this ungrammatical, poorly-spelled glop about nice smiles and "wow, you must have heard this a thousand times" does something to somebody, or they wouldn't keep doing it. These are mass mailouts, of course, going out to thousands. Even if one bites, it must be worth it. I've heard of supposedly intelligent women having their life savings, hundreds of thousands of dollars, siphoned off by some heartless parasite, bankrupting her and destroying her happiness forever.





I haven't had any "filtered requests" on Facebook lately, perhaps because they're actually filtering them now rather than tossing them into a secret junk file. They're some of the best, my favorite being:

HELLO PRETTY LADT I WAS JUST PASSING WHEN I SEE YOUR WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL FACE I WAS CATIVATED IF YOU DONT MINE CAN WE BE FRIENDS


I'm still trying to figure out what it means to be "cativated". Maybe I'd better ask my cat?




This is a somewhat related, but plenty weird "filtered request" I received a few years ago. As with most of these things, I didn't even see it until recently. I have no idea who this is or why he wants me to have this information. I don't remember writing anything about schizophrenia. What interests me is that he lives on Pitcairn, a remote Polynesian community in which almost all the residents are genetically related to Fletcher Christian of Mutiny on the Bounty fame. Far from being a romantic South Seas island, Pitcairn is a grim place known for its rampant sexual abuse, in which the small local prison is always overflowing. 




You and Mike Cee aren't connected on Facebook
Lives in Adamstown, Pitcairn Islands
10/14/2014 11:32am


I spoke to some doctors about stem cell therapy for schizophrenia as a cure. They said it might work cause the cells have the ability to transform and repair existing cells. Its not done publicly because many drug companies would loss billions and many doctors would loss their practices. Let the doctors explain it.

http://stemcellofamerica.com/
http://stemedix.com
www.stemcellrevolution.com
http://www.worldstemcellsclinic.com

10/15/2014 6:49pm




The truth is already out there. It has worked on rat brains. These are published articles of stem cell working for Schizophrenia:

www.news.wisc.edu/21698

www.theguardian.com/science/2010/may/27/bone-marrow-transplants-mental-illness

www.nature.com/mp/journal/v18/n11/full/mp2013111a.html

www.schizophrenia.com/sznews/archives/004111.html

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/09/130909152958.htm

uthscsa.edu/hscnews/singleformat2.asp?newID=4590

weill.cornell.edu/news/news/2014/05/brain-cell-transplants-reverse-psychosis-in-schizophrenic-mice-betsy-ross.html

timesofsandiego.com/tech/2014/09/11/ucsd-finds-chemical-cause-schizophrenia/

schizophrenia.com/?p=394

www.pnas.org/content/111/20/7450

www.jneurosci.org/content/34/29/9506.short

www.google.com/m?q=interneuron+stem+cell+therapy&client=ms-opera-mini&channel=new

www.google.com/m?q=neural+stem+cell+therapy&client=ms-opera-mini&channel=new


Monday, August 7, 2017

Mystery in the lake





Another mystery bird, seen on Como Lake. It was at such a distance that I could not zoom in without becoming extremely wobbly. I'd say merganser, but the head isn't right. Loon? It has a distinctive patch of white on its head, and loons have white throats, don't they? I am extremely new at this bird thing, but it lends a sense of wonder to each new discovery. I always think the bird is somehow aware of me filming it by the way it keeps turning its head.

As usual, YouTube gave me the shittiest choice of thumbnails ever, so I had to come up with my own. I found a picture of a loon and used a glass filter to blur it, then realized that if you look at the image the other way, it's a bit like a gull or other large bird flying against a blue sky with a dark cloud above it. All right, so the cloud is brown! It was an unintentional optical illusion which has nothing to do with the video.


Cars with teeth, Vol. II





A stunning candy apple green Studebaker (year unknown - '30s?) which has been customized with fierce chrome teeth. We saw this at the Hard Rock Casino car show a couple of weeks ago. Also has a gorgeous interior.


Idiotisms and Proverbs







Idiotisms and Proverbs.


The necessity don't know the low.

Few, few the bird make her nest. 

He is not valuable to breat that he eat. 

Its are some blu stories.





Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss.


He sin in trouble water.


A bad arrangement is better than a process.


He has a good beak.


In the country of blinds, the one eyed men are kings.






To build castles in Espagnish.


Cat scalded fear the cold water.


To do the fine spirit.


With a tongue one go to Roma.


There is not any rnler without a exception.


Take out the live coals with the hand of the cat.










































A horse baared don't look him the tooth.

Take the occasion for the hairs.

To do a wink to some body.


So many go the jar to spring, than at last rest there.


He eat untill to can't more.


Which like Bertram, love hir dog.






It want to beat the iron during it is hot.


He is not so devil as he is black.


It is better be single as a bad company.


The stone as roll not heap up not foam.


They shurt him the doar in face.


He has fond the knuckle of the business.






He turns as a weath turcocl.


There is not better sauce who the appetite.


The pains come at horse and turn one's self at foot.


He is beggar as a church rat.


So much go the jar to spring that at last it break there.


To force to forge, becomes smith.


Keep the chestnut of the fire with the cat foot.






Friendship of a child is water into a basket.


At some thing the misforte is good.


Burn the politeness.


Tell me whom thou frequent, I will tell you which you are.


After the paunch comes the dance.






Of the hand to mouth, one lose often the soup.


To look for a needle in a hay bundle.


To craunch the marmoset.


To buy cat in pocket.

To be as a fish into the water.


To make paps for the cats.


To fatten the foot.


To come back at their muttons.


- From English as She is Spoke





English As She Is Spoke is the common name of a 19th-century book written by Pedro Carolino, and falsely additionally credited to José da Fonseca, which was intended as a PortugueseEnglish conversational guide or phrase book, but is regarded as a classic source of unintentional humour, as the given English translations are generally completely incoherent.

The humour appears to be a result of dictionary-aided literal translation, which causes many idiomatic expressions to be translated wildly inappropriately. For example, the Portuguese phrase chover a cântaros is translated as raining in jars, whereas an idiomatic English translation would be raining buckets.

It is widely believed that Carolino could not speak English, and that a French–English dictionary was used to translate an earlier Portuguese–French phrase book, O novo guia da conversação em francês e português, written by José da Fonseca. Carolino likely added Fonseca's name to the book without his permission in an attempt to give it some credibility. The Portuguese–French phrase book is apparently a competent work, without the defects that characterize English As She Is Spoke.

Mark Twain said of English As She Is Spoke that "Nobody can add to the absurdity of this book, nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its fellow; it is perfect.”  - Wikipedia