Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Sad, bad - glad? Cartoons that will make you very happy




The less you say about cartoons like these, the better, but since I don't want to look like a total slacker, I should say something. This is the infamous Magic of Oz that came out of nowhere, still impenetrable after years of attempted internet analysis. Who is Robert Capeheart, and how has he avoided arrest up until now? Probably he's dead, because this looks really old, maybe 1940s or '50s. There is so little point to it: it doesn't appear to be a Part 1 or part ANYthing of something. It has no story and no discernible action, but it does have some dreadful songs in it. The voice synchronization is almost as bad as in Paddy Pelican (which see). I have never seen a more irritating collection of characters, but (to make it worse, and I know I am not the only one who has said this) there is something disturbingly familiar about them. Where have I seen that lion before? The eyes seem to suggest anime, but it didn't exist back then. Or maybe this is where anime came from.





This is a Spanish cartoon dubbed into German, and only a little bit of it, but if you don't mind a very loud Spanish guy shouting on top of the very loud Spanish sound track, you can find the whole 55-minute thing somewhere on YouTube. This clip gives you a pretty good idea of what it's like. The question is why.






This is the one that spoils me for all the rest - The Adventures of Paddy the Pelican, an exercise in WHAT THE FUCK????? if ever there was one. It defies all explanation in its sheer badness. As far as animation is concerned, you might as well take two pieces of paper with different drawings on them and switch them back and forth. The vocal characterizations are just dung, that's all they are. You've got to see this.




Spunky and Tadpole, a not-very-seminal cartoon (in spite of its semen-al name) that was mostly just '60s schlock, though I think it came out around 1959. 1959 was a shabby, dog-eared year. It couldn't quite decide what to be. Personally, I think everyone is terrified by "9" years because they are scared to death of what the next decade might bring, or not bring. In this case, they should have been more scared. I remember the title Spunky and Tadpole and probably watched them when I was three or four years old, so didn't understand anything I was seeing (any more than I understood Ernie Kovacs, one of my first incomprehensible life experiences). But the title stayed with me. Did I think these cartoons were good? What's good when you're four?




And here is the unavoidable, Jesusly-bad The Adventures of Clutch Cargo and his Pals, Spinner and Paddlefood (in another exciting adventure called blah, blah, blah, etc.) This is the one where there is a real mouth superimposed on top of a primitive drawing of a face, There is no hope or fear of animation here: it's just completely static drawings that are occasionally dragged stiffly across the screen to represent "action". The mouths look to be infected with herpes or at least really bad cold sores, or smeared with lipstick that won't wipe off. Awwww, Clutch!

This episode, or minisode or sod-off or whatever-it-is, features a Chinese Eskimo (as the Inuit were called by racist Americans back then) speaking in some sort of slurred Japanese/Filipino accent. I will not try to analyze the significance of this.

When you think about it, though - Clutch - Spunky and Tadpole - how Freudian can it get. No wonder I grew up to be this way.




This is U. S. Army propaganda in the form of a hysterically jolly exercise video. I wonder if anyone ever followed it. I have no idea where these old films come from. One would have hoped they would be destroyed after 1949 or so. It even pictures tanks rolling along, so maybe it's a wartime cartoon. Kind of like Hitler appearing in that Donald Duck thing. I have to ask you, though - why do these things always seem so - ? Homosexual? There is a note of hysterical gayness here that I simply cannot ignore.




Bucky and Pepito. Mediocre, with moments of excruciating grace. I like the fact that you always hear the same background music in EVERY cartoon ever made in the '60s. It's like the sound of the horse whinnying that's always the same, the sound of the car wreck, or even the canned laughter used in sitcoms where you can hear certain laughs over and over again. Soundtrack Central or something. I probably watched this but was too little to remember, or it was just too forgettable. It just sort of came on as I sat there on the floor with my fat little legs splayed out and and ate my Junket pudding.




Pow-wow. It was OK to make fun of Indians back then because they weren't considered real people. They really weren't. They were extras and background and "filler" in Westerns, where they appeared in hordes, always wearing elaborate headdresses that were never used except in ceremonial occasions, and then only by Plains tribes. The best gig they could get was as the Lone Ranger's sidekick. Don't get me started on Jay Silverheels, because I think he was magnificent and made the Ranger look like a old queen in spandex pants. Most Indians weren't played by Indians anyway, which must have been depressing. Even if a Jew didn't look Jewish, he could probably get away with playing an Indian.




This wasn't really labelled except as Dementia 5, but I figured out that it's from a particularly trippy episode of Rocket Robin Hood. Must be from the early '70s then, when acid trips were common knowledge: but really, Robin Hood and pals, out in space, tripping on acid?


Eadweard Muybridge: HOW HE DID IT!




SOLVED! The mystery of how Muybridge took all those photos which created an illusion of motion long before motion picture technology even existed. It was pretty complicated stuff, involving a lot of tripwires and cameras set to go off in split-second sequence. Seems to have worked, though the documentary I took this gif from talked a lot about how Muybridge was a bit of a fiddle. He was an Edison figure, more of a personality than a scientist, and certainly a showman who knew how to present his "facts" to best advantage (as did P. T. Barnum). He killed his wife's lover and was acquitted because he convinced everyone he had the husbandly right to blow the man's weiner off. The guy looked half-crazy and never looked you in the eye and may have even had brain damage.

Next subject.




Sunday, November 1, 2015

Monkeyshines: more creepy than Halloween




It's All Saints Day, the bellybutton of the Mexican Day of the Dead celebration which lasts from October 31 to November 2. In celebration of which, I'm going to post something totally irrelevant: something I came across years ago and which fascinated me. As usual, it's attached to the idea of obsolete technology which was cutting-edge and even astonishing in its day.

YouTube has graciously provided me with many clips of early gizmos which were meant to create the illusion of motion. I'm not sure if Eadweard Muybridge invented the idea or not, but his studies of horses and buffalo and giraffes in motion were groundbreaking. Somehow (I can't find out how because I have to get out of here in a minute), he had rigged it up to take a lot of photos of a moving object over a few seconds. Trip-wires, or something, except that then the horse might trip! (haha). However he did it, when the photos were shown in rapid succession, the horse or buffalo or Thompson's gazelle or whatever-it-was seemed to be running. (Until then, people were so ignorant that they claimed a horse always had one foot on the ground when it ran. Reminds me of what Ann Landers told teenage girls they should do when making out.)





It's really just the old flip-book idea in more sophisticated form, leading to the mutoscope - you know, the crank job with its 20-second-long, supposedly titillating scenarios.

Meantime, Edison was experimenting with the kinetoscope, which used a kind of film - a quantum leap beyond these rapidly-shuffling leaves of paper - but still pretty primitive. Only one person could look at it at a time, creating the strange and steamy intimacy that made the church thunder against its wicked graven images. An experimental Edison film called Monkeyshines (in two parts) is especially strange and seems to reach out to us from some eerie dimension in the deep past. In the first part there are just flickers of what might be a human form. Part Two is a little more recognizable, but still weirdly primitive and low-tech.






(Wikipedia entry)

Monkeyshines (1889 or 1890), an experimental film made to test the original cylinder format of the Kinetoscope, is believed to be the first film shot in the United States.

Monkeyshines, No. 1 was shot by William K.L. Dickson and William Heise for the Edison labs. Scholars have differing opinions on whether the first was shot in June 1889 starring John Ott or sometime between November 21–27, 1890 starring G. Sacco Albanese. Both men were fellow lab workers at the company; contradictory evidence exists for each claim. Monkeyshines, No. 2 and Monkeyshines, No. 3 quickly followed to test further conditions.





These films were intended to be internal tests of the new camera system, and were not created for commercial use; their rise to prominence resulted much later due to work by film historians. All three films show a blurry figure in white standing in one place making large gestures and are only a few seconds long.





(NOT Wikipedia entry): I REALLY have to get out of here, I'm late for whatever it is I'm going to, which is none of your business anyway, but here are some bizarro Muybridge things I found along the way. And his name really was spelled Eadweard. Maybe his mother couldn't spell? (Oprah's real name is Orpah, did you know that? Now you do.)






POST-LEAPFROG OBSERVATIONS. This Muybridge guy was some character. His real name was Edward Muggeridge, by the way, but he didn't think that was colourful enough, so he kept changing it until he thought it was back to its original medieval form. It wasn't - just very hard to spell. And just how would you pronounce EADWEARD anyway?








I present this blog the way I dig out my facts: in jigsaw fashion, finding a chunk of valuable information, but later finding something else that seems to fit or, more often, just changes the whole picture. That is why I am so given to post-blog observations: it's to represent the process of discovery, the nosy eagerness and ferreting-out. Research is never a straight line, is it? (unless it's very dull research). Or maybe I'm just too lazy to write formal essays with all the loose ends neatly woven in. But such watertightness is, I've always thought, a great way NOT to learn, because everything is already neatly sealed. Much scientific discovery has been effectively choked off and died due to this approach.






So! Here is another nice nugget about Muybridge, whom I did NOT set out to talk about! At all! I was going to talk about Monkeyshines, and got sidetracked, but Muybridge is much more interesting than Edison because he murdered somebody:

His most famous work began in 1872, when he was hired by Leland Stanford (later the founder of Stanford University) to photograph horses. Stanford reputedly had made a bet that for a moment, all four of a racehorse's hooves are off the ground simultaneously, and he hired Muybridge to take the pictures to prove him right. This was difficult to do with the cameras of the time, and the initial experiments produced only indistinct images. The photographer then became distracted when he discovered that his young wife had taken a lover and may even have had their child by him. Muybridge tracked down the lover and shot and killed him. When Muybridge stood trial, he did not deny the killing, but he was nonetheless acquitted. Muybridge left San Francisco and spent two years in Guatemala. On his return, Muybridge resumed his photography of horses in motion, this time far more successfully. He set up a row of cameras with tripwires, each of which would trigger a picture for a split second as the horse ran by. The results settled the debate once and for all: all four hooves do leave the ground at once, as the top middle image in this sequence demonstrates.




". . . For which I will gladly pay you Tuesday."


*DISCOVERY!* I have made a discovery! More Muybridge dirty pictures, hitherto unknown to anyone, even Muybridge! (Taken from the Muybridge Institute for Pornography, Stagreel, Minnesota).












Saturday, October 31, 2015

Hitler's ventriloquist






The weird shit I find late at night! There seems to be no end to it. I'm now on a search for very early talkies, most of them made in 1929. That was the change-or-die year for most movie studios and their stars. Erich von Stroheim had a great villain's voice, heavily-accented, and would have come into his own and been a huge talkie star, except for the fact that he was (with the exception of Adolf Hitler) the nastiest man who ever lived. I think his personality was just too thuglike and violent to appeal to anyone. Even Peter Lorre wore eyeshadow, which seemed to soften him a bit.

I love the noisy soundtracks on these 1929ers, the thumps and thuds, the ringing sound (?) and whirring, no doubt the sound of the camera. To solve the problem, someone had the idea of enclosing the camera/man in a soundproof booth, with the result that he could only work for 10 minutes or so before falling into a gasping, sweating faint. When someone realized you only need to put the camera in the soundproof booth, it was a great day for technology.




I made a ton of gifs of this wonderfully awful thing because it was one of the first examples of that now-stock character, the devil-doll with a life of its own. This was imitated and/or elaborated-upon in various movies and Twilight Zone episodes. It has always puzzled me why a grown man wants to shove his hand up the back of an artificial boy and make his mouth move, but never mind. It is very late at night, so I should not get into how anatomically correct the dummy would have to be.




This ghastly phosphorescent image laid over an impenetrable hell-hole of black is like something out of your worst nightmare, the kind you can't wake up from. Then when you do wake up, something even worse happens, and you realize you haven't woke up yet. Then something even worse happens. . . 




And now it gets straaange. Here, the Little Wooden Boy discourses on something-or-other (who cares anyway? This would've been better as a silent), while at the other end of the table his master, looking like he's attending an SS banquet, calmly shoves food into his mouth. The marvel being that the little squicker can move his mouth and talk WITHOUT a hand shoved up his back. And can yatter on even though Stroheim is putting away the bratwurst like there's no tomorrow. So he can make his boy talk even with a sausage in his mouth. All done by mind control. They teach you this in Nazi training camp.


  

Yes. This guy makes Peter Lorre look like a pussycat. I can't think of anyone more evil in the movies. Not sure what happened to Stroheim - will have to look it up. He belonged to a certain time/sensibility, and reminds me of the German expressionists, Bertolt Brecht, and that infamous and oft-parodied painting, The Scream. Or maybe I just want to scream when I see him. I also think of Harvey Korman's dead-on impersonation of him in Carol Burnett's sendup of Sunset Boulevard (the last movie he appeared in, I think, in 1950). 




Ah, his love-hate relationship with his dummy, his Instrument, his thing. No doubt an extension of his poor nasty self. The dummy probably didn't feel very much, though he's the kind of conversationalist I'd like to sit across from at my next dinner party. Note that Stroheim's acting style is quite "silent film-ish", his punches very pulled. There is a slowness here too, with pauses that take forever. 

It took several years for Hollywood/actors to figure out how to DO sound films. Most pictures from 1929 were packed with high-kick, early-Busby-Berkeley-style production numbers, and this one is no exception. These have nothing to do with the main plot. Early talkies were very static in the dramatic scenes, the actors hunched around a stationary microphone hidden behind a potted palm. No one had yet figured out the concept of the sound boom. The dance numbers were no doubt added so the audience could see something MOVE once in a while.

The stars who burst to the forefront in this tenuous, genre-shifting era were people like Cagney and Garbo and Edward G. Robinson, with quirky voices that stuck in the head. Stroheim's voice was malignantly nasty, and creeped people out too much for them to pay to listen to him for two hours. He did however direct a monster of a film called Greed which, in its first cut, ran to 10 hours. I think Turner Classics is showing it next week in its entirety, with a 58-minute introduction by Robert Osborne.  (I plan to post my 90-second gif version in the very near future, or not, since I think my gif program just collapsed.) Having sat through 10 hours of Greed, one critic commented that Stroheim was "a genius. . . badly in need of a stopwatch." Or an on-off switch.




The dummymeister, predictably, goes nuts. My favorite part is all the chorus girls running away from him. The dummy swings from his hand like a useless appendage. In another scene he drags it around like Linus's blanket, the head bumping along behind him. This man is beyond unpleasant. He is EVIL, and though audiences seemed to dig it during the silent era, his talkies did not burn up the track. He went into a long and predictably bitter decline until Sunset Boulevard, which starred another great silent movie relic, Gloria Swanson, along with sad-faced Buster Keaton, who always seemed to be trying to make the best of a bad deal.




Zee end, meine liebchen.




POST-SCRIPT. And don't tell me he was Austrian. They ALL say that.



Friday, October 30, 2015

Betty White - all right (and Bill, you're my thrill)




I realize this blog, uneven as it is, has become dominated by the gif. The reason is this: I was born in 1954, and anything that helps me capture obsolete technology (particularly old TV) is magic to me. I can illustrate a point in ten seconds. And they're easy to make, boyo, even though I have come to the conclusion that my beloved Gifsforum is no more. 

What's even more curious is the fact that I can't find ANYTHING about it, not even on one of those message boards that has been pretty much been replaced by Twitter. Where did it go? It had infinitely more flexibility than Makeagif, though I will have to admit it got the proportions wrong and stretched a lot of them. They weren't nicely cropped like most of these are. But it was fast, and you could make things run backwards.

Anyway, enough complaining. Along with William Shatner, Betty White is the only living/actively performing person who remembers/was working in TV in the 1950s. I think this is pretty astonishing. Though Betty looks like a well-preserved older woman, Shatner looks about 65. You have to wonder what these two did, what sort of bargain they struck, and with whom.




Quite a fox, he was, and well before Star Trek, versatile, fit into any show, could play just about anything, and always worked. When the work fell through after Star Trek (type-casting: he is one of the very few actors who beat it), he lived out of his truck for a while and did Loblaws commercials in Toronto, some of which survive (we'll get to them later! He still does ads which I enjoy watching, but now he doesn't need to.)

Note from his  manner of speaking that he already has the Kirkian sense of drama. Jeffrey Hunter was the original Captain Kirk, and he was let go and replaced: too dull by half, I think, and he couldn't do those wrestling moves that became his trademark. Without the histrionics that made him famous, the show would have crashed and burned before it got off the launching pad.


Thursday, October 29, 2015

The stag in the cathedral





This is worth watching on YouTube because it's high-res enough to watch full-screen. If you do, you will feel that you are there in the cathedral. It's eerie and very beautiful. The stag moves as easily and naturally as if he's at home in the forest. I'm not sure of the circumstances of this because there was no narration. Let us hope he walked out of there and found his way home with the same grace and ease.






WAAAAAAAH! Mockingbird - Carly Simon & James Taylor







Compare to the original. This is more Motown-flavoured, and it works for me, but there are no visuals so it's hard to make a comparison. It's the WAY James and Carly perform it, with such exuberance, sexiness and joy, that makes it so irresistible. But it's nice to have the two of them to compare and contrast.  Inez and Charlie Foxx were a briefly-famous brother-sister act and had a couple of hits.



150 "Niet" Sayings that will Change Your Life


"Pretty Niet, eh?": 150 Profound Quotes by Friedrich Nietzsche


150 Profound Quotes by Friedrich Nietzsche


Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (October 15, 1844 – August 25, 1900) was a German philosopher, cultural critic, and scholar, who is considered one of the most influential of all modern thinkers.

Nietzsche has explored various topics related to the human condition such as individuality, truth, morality, religion, history, culture and nihilism. The central point of his philosophy is the idea of “life-affirmation”, which focuses on life in this world instead on the world beyond.

In his brilliant career, Nietzsche published several major works of philosophy. Among the best known are Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Twilight of the Idols and Beyond Good and Evil.

His writings, especially on religion and morality in contemporary civilization, influenced many major thinkers and writers of the 20th century.
1
What does not kill me, strengthens me.'Apophthegms and Darts', Twilight of the Idols (1888)
2
He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into you.'Apophthegms and Darts', Twilight of the Idols (1888)
3
It is true we love life; not because we are used to life, but because we are used to loving.'First Part: Reading and Writing', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
4
And life, in spite of ourselves, is not devised by morality.'Author's Preface', Human, All Too Human (1878)
5
In the mountains of truth you never climb in vain. Either you already reach a higher point today, or you exercise your strength in order to be able to climb higher tomorrow.Miscellaneous Maxims and Opinions (1879)
6
Against tedium even the Gods struggle in vain. The Antichrist (1888)
7
The secret of realising the largest productivity and the greatest enjoyment of existence is to live in danger!'Book Fourth: Sanctus Januarius', The Gay Science (1882)
8
What is great in man is that he is a bridge and not a goal.'Zarathustra's Prologue', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
9
Without music, life would be a mistake.'Apophthegms and Darts', Twilight of the Idols (1889)
10
In revenge and in love woman is more barbarous than man.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
11
Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.'Man alone by Himself', Human, All Too Human (1878)
12
Even God has his hell: it is his love for man.'Second Part: The Pitiful', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)






13
He who despises himself, nevertheless esteems himself thereby, as a despiser.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
14
A little health on and off is the best remedy for the invalid.The Wanderer and His Shadow (1880)
15
Existence really is an imperfect tense that never becomes a present.On the Use and Abuse of History for Life (1874)
16
Close beside my knowledge lies my black ignorance.'Fourth and Last Part: The Leech', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
17
Only thoughts won by walking are valuable.'Apophthegms and Darts', Twilight of the Idols (1889)
18
Therefore he gives man hope, in reality it is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs the torments of man.'The History of the Moral Sentiments', Human, All Too Human (1878)
19
Our vanity is most difficult to wound just when our pride has been wounded.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
20
There is always some madness in love. But there is always, also, some method in madness.'First Part: Reading and Writing', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
21
Necessity is not an established fact, but an interpretation.'The Will to Power in Science', The Will to Power (1901)
22
A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.'Wife and Child', Human, All Too Human (1878)
23
Fear is the mother of morals.'The Natural History of Morals', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
24
A man pays dearly for being immortal: to this end he must die many times over during his life.'Why I Write such Excellent Books: Thus spake Zarathustra', Ecce Homo (1888)
25
There is more reason, sanity and intelligence in your body than in your best wisdom.'First Part: The Despisers of the Body', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
26
He who cannot put his thoughts on ice should not enter into the heat of dispute.'Man in Society', Human, All Too Human (1878)





27
Success has always been the greatest liar.'What is Noble?', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
28
What is good? — All that increases the feeling of power, will to power, power itself, in man. The Antichrist (1888)
29
The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies, but also to hate his friends.'First Part: The Bestowing Virtue', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
30
The best author will be the one who is ashamed to become a writer.'Concerning the Soul of Artists and Authors', Human, All Too Human (1878)
31
The man who is being punished is no longer he who has done the deed. He is always the scapegoat.The Dawn (1881)
32
There is a haughtiness of kindness which has the appearance of wickedness.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
33
In everything there is one thing impossible – rationality!'Third Part: The Bedwartfing Virtue', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
34
He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either.'The Will to Power in Art', The Will to Power (1901)
35
There are no eternal facts, as there are likewise no absolute truths.'First and Last Things', Human, All Too Human (1878)
36
No one can construct for you the bridge upon which precisely you must cross the stream of life, no one but you yourself alone.'Schopenhauer as educator', Untimely Meditations (1876)
37
What is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
38
Man is for woman a means: the purpose is always the child.'First Part: Old and Young Women', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
39
Facts are precisely what is lacking, all that exists consists of interpretations.'The Will to Power in Science', The Will to Power (1901)





40
Thoughts are the shadows of our sentiments — always, however, obscurer, emptier, and simpler.'Book Third', The Gay Science (1882)
41
To recognise untruth as a condition of life.'Prejudices of Philosophers', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
42
We often contradict an opinion when it is really only the tone in which it is expressed that is unsympathetic to us.'Man in Society', Human, All Too Human (1878)
43
“Belief” means not-wishing-to-know what is true.The Antichrist (1888)
44
Man is the cruellest animal.'Third Part: The Convalescent', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
45
In praise there is more obtrusiveness than in blame.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
46
Whoever has not got a good father should procure one.'Wife and Child', Human, All Too Human (1878)
47
Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful!'Second Part: The Tarantulas', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
48
That which makes man revolt against suffering, is not suffering as such, but the senselessness of suffering.'Second Essay: Guilt, Bad Conscience, and the like', On the Genealogy of Morality (1887)
49
Wit is the epitaph of an emotion.Miscellaneous Maxims and Opinions (1879)
50
Our destiny rules over us, even when we are not yet aware of it; it is the future that makes laws for our today.'Author's Preface', Human, All Too Human (1878)
51
Two different things wants the true man: danger and diversion. Therefore wants he woman, as the most dangerous plaything.'First Part: Old and Young Women', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)







52
Blessed are the forgetful: for they “get the better” even of their blunders.'Our Virtues', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
53
A good author possesses not only his own intellect, but also that of his friends.'Concerning the Soul of Artists and Authors', Human, All Too Human (1878)
54
One should hold fast one’s heart; for when one lets it go, how quickly does one’s head run away!'Second Part: The Pitiful', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
55
Morality is the herd-instinct in the individual.'Book Third', The Gay Science (1882)
56
Insanity in individuals is something rare — but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs it is the rule.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
57
There is not sufficient love and goodness in the world to permit us to give some of it away to imaginary beings.'The Religious Life', Human, All Too Human (1878)
58
One pays back a teacher badly if one remain merely a scholar.'First Part: The Bestwing Virtue', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
59
My concept of freedom. — The worth of a thing lies sometimes not in what one attains with it, but in what one pays for it — what it costs us.'Roving Expeditions of an Inopportune Philosopher', Twilight of the Idols (1888)
60
There is an innocence of admiration: it is possessed by him to whom it has not yet occurred that he himself may he admired some day. 'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
61
All mankind is divided, as it was at all times and is still, into slaves and freemen; for whoever has not two-thirds of his day for himself is a slave, be he otherwise whatever he likes, statesman, merchant, official, or scholar.'The Signs of Higher and Lower Culture', Human, All Too Human (1878)
62
In the true man there is a child hidden: it wants to play.'First Part: Old and Young Women', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
63
The most perfidious manner of injuring a cause is to vindicate it intentionally with fallacious arguments.'Book Third', The Gay Science (1882)
64
Danger which first teaches us to know our resources, our virtues, our shield and sword, our genius — which compels us to be strong… 'Roving Expeditions of an Inopportune Philosopher', Twilight of the Idols (1888)
65
He whom the flames of jealousy surround, at last, like the scorpion, turns the poisoned sting against himself.'First Part: Joys and Passions', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
66
The unreasonableness of a thing is no argument against its existence, but rather a condition thereof. 'Man alone by himself', Human, All Too Human (1878)





67
Perhaps I know best why man is the only animal that laughs: he alone suffers so excruciatingly that he was compelled to invent laughter.'Nihilism', The Will to Power (1901)
68
Is not life a hundred times too short for us — to bore ourselves?'Our Virtues', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
69
One must still have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star. 'Zarathustra's Prologue', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
70
When one has much to put into them, a day has a hundred pockets.'Man alone by Himself', Human, All Too Human (1878)
71
We recover best from our unnaturalness, from our spirituality, in our savage moods…'Apophthegms and Darts', Twilight of the Idols (1888)
72
For in fact, nothing is more democratic than logic: it is knows no respect of persons, and takes even the crooked nose as straight.'Book Fifth: We Fearless Ones', The Gay Science (1882)
73
He who wishes one day to fly, must first learn standing and walking and running and climbing and dancing: – one does not fly into flying!'Third Part: The Spirit of Gravity', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)

74
Belief in the truth commences with the doubting of all those “truths” we once believed.Truth Will Have No Other Gods Alongside It (1879)
75
Every nation, every individual, has unpleasant and even dangerous qualities.'A Glance at the State', Human, All Too Human (1878)
76
The maturity of man — that means, to have reacquired the seriousness that one had as a child at play.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
77
Idleness is the parent of all psychology.'Apophthegms and Darts', Twilight of the Idols (1888)
78
But the worst enemy you can meet, will you yourself always be; you waylay yourself in caverns and forests.'First Part: The Way of the Creating One', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)





79
One will seldom go wrong if one attributes extreme actions to vanity, average ones to habit, and petty ones to fear.'The History of the Moral Sentiments', Human, All Too Human (1878)
80
What we experience in dreams, provided we experience it often, pertains at last just as much to the general belonging of our soul as anything “actually” experienced; by virtue thereof we are richer or poorer.'The Natural History of Morals', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
81
The commonest falsehood is that by which one deceives one’s self: the deception of others is a relatively exceptional case.The Antichrist (1888)
82
How is it? Is man only a mistake of God? Or God only a mistake of man?'Apophthegms and Darts', Twilight of the Idols (1888)
83
Only where there are graves are there resurrections.'Second Part: The Grave Song', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
84
The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets successfully through many a bad night.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
85
Neither necessity nor desire, but the love of power, is the demon of mankind. You may give men everything possible health, food,shelter,enjoyment but they are and
remain unhappy and capricious, for the demon waits and waits; and must be satisfied.The Dawn (1881)
86
Truly, he who possesses little is so much the less possessed: praised be a little poverty!'First Part: The New Idol', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
87
If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to contemn!'Nihilism', The Will to Power (1901)






88
Woman learns how to hate in proportion as she — forget now to charm.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
89
Marriages which are contracted for love (so-called love-matches) have error for their father and need (necessity) for their mother.'Wife and Child', Human, All Too Human (1878)
90
What is the ape to man? A laughing-stock or a painful embarrassment.And just the same shall man be to the overman: a laughing-stock or a painful embarrassment.'Zarathustra's Prologue', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
91
Art is not merely an imitation of the reality of nature, but in truth a metaphysical supplement to the reality of nature, placed alongside thereof for its conquest.The Birth of Tragedy (1872)
92
The vanity of others is only counter to our taste when it is counter to our vanity.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
93
The “kingdom of heaven” is a state of the heart – not something to come “beyond the world” or “after death.”The Antichrist (1888)
94
The best friend will probably get the best wife, because a good marriage is based on talent for friendship.
(known as: It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.) Human, All Too Human (1878)
95
Art raises its head where creeds relax.'Concerning the Soul of Artists and Authors', Human, All Too Human (1878)
96
There exists in the world a single path along which no one can go except you: whither does it lead? Do not ask, go along it.'Schopenhauer as educator', Untimely Meditations (1876)
97
Art is the only task of life.'The Will to Power in Art', The Will to Power (1901)
98
No one is such a liar as the indignant man.'The Free Spirit', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
99
We are all growing volcanoes, which will have their hours of eruption: how near or how distant this is, nobody of course knows, not even the good God.'Book First', The Gay Science (1882)
100
When one has one’s wherefore of life, one gets along with almost every how.
(known as: He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.)'Apophthegms and Darts', Twilight of the Idols (1888)







101
Out of the deepest must the highest come to its height.'Third Part: The Wanderer', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
102
The fact that an intellect contains a few worms does not detract from its ripeness.Miscellaneous Maxims and Opinions (1879)
103
When a man has finished building his house, he finds that he has learnt unawares something which he ought absolutely to have known before he began to build.'What is Noble?', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
104
We are responsible to ourselves for our own existence; consequently we want to be the true helmsman of this existence and refuse to allow our existence to resemble a mindless act of chance.'Schopenhauer as educator', Untimely Meditations (1876)
105
It is the privilege of greatness to confer intense happiness with insignificant gifts.'Man alone by Himself', Human, All Too Human (1878)
106
Words are only symbols for the relations of things among themselves and to us, and nowhere touch absolute truth.Philosophy in the Tragic Age of the Greeks (1873)
107
Let us be on our guard against saying that death is contrary to life. The living being is only a species of dead being, and a very rare species.'Book Third', The Gay Science (1882)
108
For this is hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver.'Second Part: The Child with the Mirror', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
109
Nothing has been more dearly bought than the minute portion of human reason and feeling of liberty upon which we now pride ourselves.The Dawn (1881)
110
To be ashamed of one’s immorality is a step on the ladder at the end of which one is ashamed also of one’s morality.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
111
Stupidity in a woman is unfeminine.The Wanderer and His Shadow (1880)





112
It is not the struggle of opinions that has made history so turbulent; but the struggle of belief in opinions.'Man alone by Himself', Human, All Too Human (1878)
113
Culture is liberation, the removal of all the weeds, rubble and vermin that want to attack the tender buds of the plant.'Schopenhauer as educator', Untimely Meditations (1876)
114
Fanatics are picturesque, and mankind prefers observing poses to listening to reasons…The Antichrist (1888)
115
Man is a rope stretched between animal and overman – a rope over an abyss.'Zarathustra's Prologue', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
116
To die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly.'Roving Expeditions of an Inopportune Philosopher', Twilight of the Idols (1888)
117
He who has seen another’s ideal becomes his inexorable judge, and as it were his evil conscience.Miscellaneous Maxims and Opinions (1879)
118
To talk much about oneself may also be a means of concealing oneself.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
119
A young man can be most surely corrupted when he is taught to value the like-minded more highly than the differently minded.The Dawn (1881)
120
We sometimes remain faithful to a cause merely because its opponents never cease to be insipid.'Man alone by Himself', Human, All Too Human (1878)
121
Whoever does not know how to hit the nail on the head should be entreated not to hit the nail at all.The Wanderer and His Shadow (1880)






122
It is the stillest words which bring the storm. Thoughts that come with doves’ footsteps guide the world.'Second Part: The Stillest Hour', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
123
Sensuality often forces the growth of love too much, so that its root remains weak, and is easily torn up.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
124
The demand to be loved is the greatest of presumptions.'Man alone by Himself', Human, All Too Human (1878)
125
Our treasure is where the beehives of our knowledge are.'Foreword', On the Genealogy of Morality (1887)
126
If a woman possesses manly virtues, she is to be run away from; and if she does not possess them, she runs away herself.'Apophthegms and Darts', Twilight of the Idols (1888)
127
But what after all are man’s truths? They are his irrefutable errors.'Book Third', The Gay Science (1882)
128
Forgetting our purpose is the most frequent form of folly.The Wanderer and His Shadow (1880)
129
Man is something that is to be surpassed.'Zarathustra's Prologue', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
130
Egoism belongs to the essence of a noble soul.'What is Noble?', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)




131
There are many kinds of eyes. Even the Sphinx has eyes — therefore there must be many kinds of “truths,” and consequently there can be no truth.'The Will to Power in Science', The Will to Power (1901)

132
When art arrays itself in the most shabby material it is most easily recognised as art.'Concerning the Soul of Artists and Authors', Human, All Too Human (1878)
133
The admiration of a quality or of an art may be so strong as to deter us from aspiring to possess that quality or art.Miscellaneous Maxims and Opinions (1879)
134
Not when the truth is filthy, but when it is shallow, does the discerning one go unwillingly into its waters.'First Part: Chastity', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)
135
One does not hate as long as one disesteems, but only when one esteems equal or superior.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
136
The wisest men in all ages have judged similarly with regard to life: it is good for nothing.'The Problem of Socrates', Twilight of the Idols (1888)
137
Our character is determined more by the absence of certain experiences than by the experiences we have undergone.Miscellaneous Maxims and Opinions (1879)
138
There is no such thing as moral phenomena, but only a moral interpretation of phenomena.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
139
It is an excellent thing to express a thing consecutively in two ways, and thus provide it with a right and a left foot. Truth can stand indeed on one leg, but with two she will walk and complete her journey.The Wanderer and His Shadow (1880)
140
Do ever what you will – but first be such as can will.'Third Part: The Bedwarfing Virtue', Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883)

141
A great value of antiquity lies in the fact that its writings are the only ones that modern men still read with exactness.Notes (1874), The Portable Nietzche
142
Many a man fails to become a thinker for the sole reason that his memory is too good.Miscellaneous Maxims and Opinions (1879)
143
Before the effect one believes in other causes than after the effect.'Book Third', The Gay Science (1882)






144
He that humbleth himself wishes to be exalted.'The History of the Moral Sentiments', Human, All Too Human (1878)
145
Extreme positions are not relieved by more moderate ones, but by extreme opposite positions.'Nihilism', The Will to Power (1901)
146
Haste is universal because everyone is in flight from himself.'Schopenhauer as educator', Untimely Meditations (1876)
147
Not joy but joylessness is the mother of debauchery.Miscellaneous Maxims and Opinions (1879)
148
Presumption in connection with merit offends us even more than presumption in persons devoid of merit, for merit in itself offends us.'Man in Society', Human, All Too Human (1878)
149
By means of music the very passions enjoy themselves.'Apophthegms and Interludes', Beyond Good and Evil (1886)
150
I still live, I still think; I must still live, for I must still think.'Book Fourth: Sanctus Januarius', The Gay Science (1882)






APPENDIX (a): The Gay Science (1882):

"Nietzsche never married. Nietzsche proposed to Lou Salomé three times, but his proposal was rejected each time.[90] The Nietzsche scholar Joachim Köhler has attempted to explain Nietzsche's life history and philosophy by claiming that Nietzsche was homosexual. Köhler argues that Nietzsche's syphilis, which is "usually considered to be the product of his encounter with a prostitute in a brothel in Cologne or Leipzig, is equally likely, it is now held, to have been contracted in a male brothel in Genoa".[91] Köhler also suggests Nietzsche may have had a romantic relationship as well as a friendship with Paul Rée. Köhler's views have not found wide acceptance among Nietzsche scholars and commentators. Allan Megill argues that while Köhler's claim that Nietzsche was in confrontation with homosexual desire cannot simply be dismissed, "the evidence is very weak" and Köhler may be projecting twentieth-century understandings of sexuality on nineteenth-century notions of friendship.[92] Other scholars have argued that Köhler's sexuality-based interpretation is not helpful in understanding Nietzsche's philosophy.[93][94] Some like Nigel Rodgers and Mel Thompson have argued that continuous sickness and headaches hindered Nietzsche from engaging much with women. Yet, they bring other examples in which Nietzsche expressed his affections to other women, including Wagner's wife Cosima Wagner."[95]




APPENDIX (b): The Horse of Turin

"In Turin on 3rd January, 1889, Friedrich Nietzsche steps out of the doorway of number six, Via Carlo Alberto. Not far from him, the driver of a hansom cab is having trouble with a stubborn horse. Despite all his urging, the horse refuses to move, whereupon the driver loses his patience and takes his whip to it. Nietzsche comes up to the throng and puts an end to the brutal scene, throwing his arms around the horse’s neck, sobbing. His landlord takes him home, he lies motionless and silent for two days on a divan until he mutters the obligatory last words, 'Mutter, ich bin dumm!' ['Mother, I am stupid!' in German] and lives for another ten years, silent and demented, cared for by his mother and sisters. We do not know what happened to the horse."

Blogger's Blather. I found an amazing number of artistic representations of Nietzsche's horse, none of which were very respectful. Many were of the My Little Pony variety, and I am sure the horse didn't look like that. Though many accounts of his spectacular breakdown mock and jeer at his mental illness and claim his family "threw him into an asylum", the truth is he had untreated syphilis which eventually gets into the brain, acting similarly to TBI (traumatic brain injury). It's not too damn funny, folks. And they looked after him at home.






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