Friday, May 8, 2015

Bullshit advice to writers






Today's journal entry. It's nothing I haven't said before, but maybe I need to say it again.

 May 8/15

I keep deleting what I’ve written, then starting again. Just as well, because some of it makes me sick. It’s pretty sad stuff that is only useful for giving me something to do, and to show myself, "see, I'm still writing".

Part of me wanted to keep all of it, but I don’t read back much anyway. I just get tired of it, of myself, of Facebook and its emptiness. People saying “just concentrate on the joy of the writing, and you WILL be a bestseller.” It will just happen by some magic. It’s like “do what you love and the money will follow”. People really do believe that. If you don’t, your karma is off, your vibes are too negative, and you don’t really deserve to be a bestseller anyway because you are committing the unpardonable sin of WANTING to be, to have a decent readership for your books.





You should completely ignore your ambition to be published (because it's kind of stinky anyway, like being a whore), put it aside, write for the pure joy of writing, and THEN, voila!, your work will suddenly, magically sell like mad! A contract will drop into your lap, a Fifty Shades-size one, with no effort, just as New York agents will bust down your door before they even read your stuff. I see this naïve belief everywhere, and if you try to counter it with reality and experience, you’re treated like a sour old thing who has no optimism or faith and who DOESN’T believe success is guaranteed if only you stop wanting it.




To me, that's pretty dishonest, because it's a hidden agenda. The "advice" or imperative is "write only for the joy of it", though beneath that, unacknowledged, unadmitted, lurks this sense that being so pure of heart will cause the Great God Publishing to bring his/her wand down on your head and grant your every bestselling wish. In other words, you will succeed so lavishly BECAUSE you stopped caring about such crass, unworthy things as having a readership for your work.

This whole thing about publishing, readership, etc. is highly stigmatized and causes so much embarrassment that people will do just about anything to cover it up. The LAST thing you should want is to have people buy your books. “Stop thinking about the market and start thinking about the joy of what you do!” one of those meme-y things says, and I see a lot of them. “The market” reminds me of “meat market” or an inert commodity that is bought and sold.






A book IS that, yes it is. A commodity that is bought and sold. What else can it be?I say this over and over again: we don’t expect a concert pianist to play in an empty hall. It would be completely humiliating, not to mention a huge waste of training, practice, time, money, and the cost of a Steinway. And we don't tell the pianist, "Oh, just play for the joy of playing, even if nobody ever hears it. " And yet, for writers it's a completely different thing. 

Human language and communication began to seriously evolve with the storyteller who sat by the fire, a circle of tribespeople sitting around and avidly listening. The first thing he or she probably talked about was that day’s hunt, probably exaggerating its glories and downplaying its failures. Gradually it evolved into more elaborate storytelling, exploits. People listened and learned what a human being is, even if in distorted form. It was one of the main building blocks of culture, and it defined humanity as an animal different from any other.

What if no one had sat around the fire? I think we might still be conducting our business with sticks and stones.



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Thursday, May 7, 2015

Dead Mouse Theatre - Leprechaun

Like a peacock on fire: By Strauss!




It suddenly occurs to me that my last post probably made no sense to anyone but me. I think - I hope - I was trying to draw parallels between the Biblical story of Jacob and Esau, and George and Ira Gershwin. Sounds silly? Maybe. But it seemed oh-so-significant at the time. My Gershwin exploration is a dreamlike experience, and you know how hard it is to explain or even describe a dream to someone else, if you can even remember it. And somehow it falls apart on remembering.

But meanwhile! Here is a fabulous recording of one of the GG brothers' most charming songs. It has a killer lyric that is very hard to get your tongue around, and a fast, sassy, brilliant tune. Maureen McGovern, an underrated singer with an incredible range, gets around this very handily, and with operatic precision. And for all that, she still has fun with it.  By Jove, by jing, by Strauss is the thing!

(P. S. Kiri te Kanawa does a bizarre version of this in a thick Yiddish accent - wtf?? - and does not sing the high-altitude coloratura solo which McGovern knocks off with such aplomb. Now, it could be that the arrangement was written especially for her. At any rate, like this song that flames up like a peacock on fire, it's killer.)




Away with the music of Broadway
Be off with your Irving Berlin
Oh I give no quarter to Kern or Cole Porter
And Gershwin keeps pounding on tin

How can I be civil when hearing this drivel
It's only for nightclubbin' souses
Oh give me the free 'n' easy waltz that is Vienneasy and
Go tell the band 
If they want a hand
The waltz must be Strauss's
Ya, ya ya, give me oom-pa-pah

When I want a melody
Lilting through the house
Then I want a melody
By Strauss
It laughs, it sings, the world is in rhyme
Swinging to three-quarter time

Let the Danube flow along
And the Fledermauss
Keep the wine and give me song
By Strauss

By Jove, by Jing, by Strauss is the thing
So I say to ha-cha-cha, heraus!
Just give me your oom-pa-pah, by Strauss!

Let the Danube flow along
And the Fledermauss
Keep the wine and give me song
By Strauss

By Jove, by Jing, by Strauss is the thing
So I say to ha-cha-cha, heraus!
Just give me your oom-pa-pah,
By Strauss!






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Gershwin's Ghost: conversation




May 7/15

I should I guess try to slow this down or stop it or spread it out or something.

Why?

I’m getting greedy.

For what, we don’t know. But I am here on the line

Does it matter how much things have changed since –

Does it seem to?

No, it doesn’t. This is a timeless time. Are you appearing to people still?

I haven’t for a while because I was not sure they would know me.

Oh they would. For some reason I am thinking of Jacob and Esau

What brought THAT to your mind?

Something about birthright – you and Ira – I don’t know.

“The hands are the hands of Esau.” You know how it goes?

I need to be reminded!

Jacob stole Esau’s birthright, or he sold it for a bowl of soup. Great deal, eh? Did you ever pay attention to what my real name is?

Jacob.

Esau being the eldest, so he’d get the caboodle, all of it.





I just found the reference, here it is:

21 Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The
Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant.
22 The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, “Why is this happening to me?” So she went to inquire of the Lord.
23 The Lord said to her,
“Two nations are in your womb,
and two peoples from within you will be separated;
one people will be stronger than the other,
and the older will serve the younger.”
24 When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb.
25 The first to come out was red, and his whole body was like a hairy garment;so they named him Esau.
26 After this, his brother came out, with his hand grasping Esau’s heel; so he was named Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them.
27 The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was content to stay at home among the tents.
28 Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.
29 Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished.
30 He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!” (That is why he was also called Edom.
31 Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.”
32 “Look, I am about to die,” Esau said. “What good is the birthright to me?”
33 But Jacob said, “Swear to me first.” So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob.
34 Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left.
So Esau despised his birthright.

Rings true in a way.

I don’t think he despised his birthright but some things do ring true in it, including your own cleverness and the way your personalities contrast. I just looked up the rest of it and Jacob fools his father twice! His father seems unable to go back on it, so poor Esau. . . in a way, he’s cursed, or certainly not blessed. But who on earth could outfox Jacob?

Nobody. He looks after his own. Yet Esau loves him, maybe too much.

He’s beholden to him?

It should be the other way around, but it isn’t. George ends up being the genius.

You have no trouble saying that, do you.

No. I have no trouble saying that. Ira would have no trouble saying that. He was the favored son, but look what happened, I jumped on the piano stool and was off. And it was Ira’s piano. He was supposed to take lessons. You could say the piano was his birthright, and I stole it. At least I had no trouble taking it.



But it really was.

It really was. Did he feel left behind? Then he wrote these incredible lyrics, and it became evident we really were “twins”, with the words and music intertwining.

That is absolutely fantastic! “The hands are hands of Esau, but the voice is the voice of Jacob.” Pulling a switch, there, and a clever one. It’s almost like you/he stole Esau’s hands!

Esau’s hands were hairy. Jacob’s hands were smooth. Boy they sure got it backwards there.

Yeah I’ve seen pictures.  Wow. I’m just resonating from this

Go away and chew on it for a while.



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Tuesday, May 5, 2015

The "one neglect" that wrecks romance



"I was a 'single' wife      How a young married woman overcame the "one neglect" that often wrecks romance

1. Ours was the perfect marriage. . . at first. But slowly, gradually, a strangeness grew up between us. I couldn't believe Jim's love had cooled so fast!

2. One day, Miss R., a nurse from my home town, found me crying and wormed the whole thing out of me.  "Don't be offended, darling," she began, shyly. "I've seen this happen before. Many wives have lost their husbands' love through their neglect of feminine hygiene (intimate personal cleanliness).

3. Then she told me what she'd heard a doctor advise: Lysol Disinfectant. "You see," she went on, "Lysol won't harm sensitive vaginal tissues - just follow the easy directions. Lysol cleanses thoroughly and deodorizes. No wonder this famous germicide is the mainstay of thousands of women for feminine hygiene."

4. Ever since, I've used Lysol. It's so economical, so easy to use, gives me such a wonderful feeling of personal daintiness. And - here's the most wonderful thing - Jim and I are once again happy as doves."

Check this with your doctor

Lysol is NON-CAUSTIC - gentle and efficient in proper dilution. Contains no  free alkali. It is not carbolic acid. EFFECTIVE - a powerful germicide, active in presence of organic matter (such as mucus, serum, etc.) SPREADING - Lysol solutions spread and thus virtually search out germs in deep crevices. ECONOMICAL - small bottle makes almost a gallon of solution for feminine hygiene.
CLEANLY ODOR disappears after use. LASTING - Lysol keeps full strength indefinitely, no matter how often it is uncorked.

LYSOL DISINFECTANT      FOR FEMININE HYGIENE



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Friday, May 1, 2015

George Meets Frida: a Mexican adventure








Jan. 23, 1936
One Thirty-Two East Seventy-Second Street
New York

Dear Elizabeth -
     After much patient waiting I finally was rewarded with an epistle (a very well typed epistle I may add) from you. I find its a very good idea to write letters so seldomly as it works up a been desire, almost amounting to pain in the receiving person, and its a swell idea unless of course the person happens to die waiting.
     It's nice that things whizz for you out where beauties play my music. On the 9th February I'm playing the same frogs with the Washington Sym. - your mother has asked If she could give me a party in Wash. on that evening and I answered a quick "yes". I wish you were there.
     Ira's Follies opens in town next week & it reminds me of a year ago when you had that lovely dress on & we went to the opening of 8:40.
     Hope now you are in the pink, physically, mentally & professionally & affectionately & that you'll write soon to
     George








& talents go to earn an honest dollar. When life whizzes by, one is really living, so drink it in, honey.
     The Mexican trip was fun & educational. No, I didn't fight with Eddie or even the Doc. We all got along 'splendid'. Much sightseeing, travelling for 10 days at an average height of about 7500 ft., seeing all the churches (but no synagogues) looking, but in vain, for the Mexican beauties one hears about, listening to the music but finding difficult to get anyone to play anything away from 6/8 time. Spent a great deal of time with charming fat Diego Rivera & charming lovely Mrs. Diego Rivera.  Made color pencil portraits of them both.
     Here I am back in old New York again, freezing cold. It's 10 above zero today. Night before last I played in Philly with the Philadelphia Symphony, the concerto & a suite from Porgy. It was a major thrill to hear that band






OK, Gershwinites: and are there any of you actually out there? Never mind, nobody reads my blog anyway, or hardly anyone, so I may as well pursue my current obsession (as usual!). One of these days I'm going to change the title of it to Gershwin's Ghost. You see, George himself is beginning to wonder if I am in fact working up to another book, which would be OK if it appears after my death and somebody else does all the slamming-headlong-into-the-cement-wall/humilating failure for me.

It's pretty easy to find samples of GG's handwriting, and the  most interesting thing about these samples is his reference to meeting "charming fat Diego Rivera & charming lovely Mrs. Diego Rivera", the latter now celebrated as an artist in her own right by her real name, Frida Kahlo.

I have to confess that some of this was a little hard to transcribe. That reference to "playing the same frogs" must, surely, be "songs", unless one of the songs was "Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal". I am not sure who Elizabeth is, or was, and the Mexican letter consists of only page 2 and 3. What interests me - and maybe this was as casual then as an email, who knows - is how open he is about handwriting/answering letters from interested people and "fans". It must have been a thrill to get a handwritten note, not just from a secretary but from the great man himself.

By the way, he refers to playing with the Washington  Symphony on February 9. No coincidence, is it, that the date happens to be my birthday?



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Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Gershwin's Ghost: the return




 “George even passed the most acid of tests for great leadership by remaining a presence to his followers even after he’d left the planet. Ann ‘Willow Weep for Me’ Ronell told me some half century after his death that she still ‘saw’ Gershwin regularly in the crowds of the Upper West Side, looking as if he’d just walked out the door. And on that same day, Burton ‘How About You’ Lane testified to an even more precise epiphany. Lane had recently been to a concert of Gershwin’s newly-refurbished piano rolls being played on a baby grand pianola in a pool of spotlight. And as the notes began to go mechanically down and up, ‘There was George for a moment,’ he exclaimed, ‘playing away. I almost passed out.’”

- The House that George Built, Wilfrid Shed



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"IT!. . . COULD!. . . WORK!" - famous movie quotes #387







Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Why Gene Wilder is the sexiest man alive

Failure quotes


 Failure Quotes and Sayings

FAILUREisonly atemporary chantionetoustraightoryournextsuccessOnly thosewho dareto fail greatly caneverachieve greatlyur busineinlife is nottosucceed, but toontinue tofail ingoodpirits.If thereexists nopossibility offailure, hen victory is meaningless ailuri aman hasblunderedbut is notcapable fcashingin on the experience.Remember, noman is afailure who has friends.One mustbegod to be abl to tell uccessesrom failureswithout makingamistakeExperience is simplythenamewegive ur mistakes.Success
 isgoing from failure to failurewithout losingnthusiasmThe only real failure in life is the failureto tryThere ar noecrets to succes resultof preparation hard workand learningrom failureLife’seal faile is whenou donotrealize how close yowere tsuccesswhen you gave up.Success builds character, failure reveals iThere are no ailures just experiences and your reactions to themFailure is the tuition you pay for successA man may allmany times, but he won’t be a failure until he says that someonpushedhim.Failure is notfalling down but refusing to get upYou cannot do wrong without suffering wronHe who failto plan, plans to fail.Defeat is not theworst of failures. Not to have tried is the truefailure.Notice thedifference betweenwhhappens when a man says to himself, “I have failed three times,” and what happens when he says, “I am a failureI have not failed. I’ve just found 10ways thatwon’t workNeveconfuse a single defeat withainal defeat.

Monday, April 27, 2015

George Gershwin: the graceful ghost




A few more intriguing bits about Gershwin’s work, indicating he must have had a deep interest in Jewish mysticism:

In Jewish mythology, a dybbuk (Yiddish: דיבוק, from Hebrew word meaning adhere or cling) is a malicious possessing spirit believed to be the dislocated soul of a dead person.





A migrant soul?! And perhaps Ira, raised in the same tradition, was subconsciously thinking of the same thing, his soul merging with his brother’s.  I don’t see GG as a dybbuk at all – he was a gentle soul and everyone loved him, though I also think he was extremely lonely and was completely disoriented after his death. And yet, if you strip away the evil connotations, a dybbuk is just an unhappy camper like a ghost, frustrated or feeling incomplete or not listened to. This is why Chanon in the story is “reduced to practicing evil rites,” because he felt so powerless.

I am very surprised, but perhaps I shouldn’t be, that the writer of I Got Rhythm and Rhapsody in Blue could be so interested in dark Jewish ritual, but he did after all grow up bilingual, i. e. speaking Yiddish, so the stories were there.  You look at this and think: George Gershwin? Mysticism, migrant souls, WHAT? Then you dig up all this stuff. Instead of developing The Dybbuk (the rights were tied up), he wrote Porgy and Bess which was also about a marginalized and powerless black community. There is a chilling song in it called The Buzzard which is about a vast dark bird waiting to  swoop down and feed on Porgy’s flesh:  he tells it, “Ain’t nobody dead this mornin’!” This is like something out of classic myth.



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Saturday, April 25, 2015

49 Everyday Phrases by William Shakespeare!




Shakespearian phrases we use every day!  Try to have a conversation without them.

Illustrated by my best friend, father, brother, uncle, cousin, and all-around mitochondrial chimera, William Shatner.

(There were supposed to be 50 of these. I don't know what happened to the last one.)


- "Dead as a doornail" - Henry VI, Part II

- "Not slept one wink" - Cymbeline

- "The world's mine oyster" - The Merry Wives of Windsor

- "Obscene" - Love's Labour's Lost

- "Bedazzled" - The Taming of the Shrew

- "In stitches" - Twelfth Night

- "Addiction" - Othello

- "Faint-hearted" - Henry VI, Part I

- "One fell swoop" - Macbeth

- "Vanish into thin air" - Othello






- "Swagger" - Henry V

- "Own flesh and blood" - Hamlet

- "Zany" - Love's Labour's Lost

- "Give the devil his due" - Henry IV, Part I

- "There's method in my madness" - Hamlet

- "Salad days" - Antony and Cleopatra

- "Spotless reputation" - Richard II

- "Full circle" - King Lear

- "All of a sudden" - The Taming of the Shrew

- "Come what, come may" - Macbeth

- "Fancy-free" - A Midsummer Night's Dream





- "Lie low" - Much Ado About Nothing

- "Send packing" - Henry IV

- "Foregone conclusion" - Othello

- "A sorry sight" - Macbeth

- "For goodness sake" - Henry VIII

- "Good riddance" - The Merchant of Venice

- "Neither here not there" - Othello

- "Mum's the word" - Henry VI, Part II

- "What's done is done" - Macbeth

- "Eaten out of house and home" - Henry IV, Part II

- "Rant" - Hamlet

- "Knock knock! Who's there?" - Macbeth

- "With bated breath" - The Merchant of Venice





- "A wild goose chase" - Romeo and Juliet

- "Assassination" - Macbeth

- "Too much of a good thing" - As You Like It

- "A heart of gold" - Henry V

- "Such stuff as dreams are made on" - The Tempest

- "Fashionable" - Troilus and Cressida

- "Puking" - As You Like It

-  “Green-eyed monster” – The Merchant of Venice

-  “As good luck would have it” – The Merry Wives of Windsor

-  “The be-all and end-all” – Macbeth

-  “A sorry sight” – Macbeth

-  “Fair play” – The Tempest

-  “Good riddance” – The Merchant of Venice

- “In a pickle” – The Tempest

- “Love is blind” – The Merchant of Venice




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Friday, April 24, 2015

Bentley on the Bed (with Mummy)









Dating famous dead men (or: who could ask for anything more?)










Margaret Gunning and George Gershwin
Numerological Compatibility

Compatibility level: 25% - A relationship that presents frequent challenges and requires much compromise.

This match combination is particularly interesting. The different natures of Margaret Gunning's Life Path number 3 and George's 7 make for a relationship that either lasts for about two weeks before going up in flames, or remains exciting and powerful for a lifetime. If their relationship has existed for quite some time and can be considered stable, Margaret Gunning and George Gershwin may well be soul mates for life. If the relationship started recently and has already experienced considerable ups and downs, they should be prepared to let go. It is also quite common for this combination to turn from romance into deep friendship immediately after a romantic fall-out.

Margaret Gunning has a restless, energetic, unconventional mind that happily explores the boundaries of creativity and originality. Like a kaleidoscope, Margaret Gunning's mind changes colors and shapes and enchants those around it. George has a much more serious, but no less unconventional way of looking at life. George is an untiring seeker of truth and understanding. George gets great satisfaction out of quiet moments of contemplation and soul searching. In fact, George thrives on the clarity and realizations that come from such moments and from moments of spiritual enlightenment.

Margaret Gunning and George have very different approaches in the way they think. But, on the other hand, they have in common the fact that they both are unconventional and not afraid to wander off the beaten path. Although they have different needs and they find their happiness in very different ways, such ways are not incompatible. It is precisely their uniquely different intellects that make this relationship lively and interesting. Margaret Gunning and George complement each other. They give each other something they would not be able to give themselves. Margaret Gunning brings sunshine and an intuitive faith to George, while George offers margaret gunning a taste of the beauty found in exploring the depths of life itself. Like the sun and the moon, they supply light and comfort. Although on opposite ends of the spectrum in some ways, Margaret Gunning and George bring light and comfort to each other’s life and, as long as they do not compete for each other’s space, they can live in great harmony.

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Numerology Compatibility | Margaret Gunning and George Gershwin

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Knit one, squirrel fail






This is one of those examples of false advertising in knitting patterns. Knitting a squirrel has become an obsession for me ever since I found out I can't freaking  DO it. I must have tried out seven different patterns, all of which looked fairly easy. The above pattern, NOT knitted by me, is an illustration of a famous pattern called Knit One, Squirrel Two. Looks very squirrel-esque, doesn't it? But it's knitted in the round, a technique I can only partially do. I can knit in the round on two needles (a technique called Magic Loop), but I can't work with three or four. This thing had SO many twists and turns, backing up and re-knitting various rows and picking up stitches where there are none, etc., that the squirrel's head ended up on backwards. 

I didn't keep my results but gutted it in dismay, disappointing a little girl who wanted a squirrel for her birthday.




Then I find this in Google Images, and the last thing I want to do is to criticize someone else's knitting, but this is what Knit One, Squirrel Two looks like, knitted up by an experienced knitter. This is the actual result from someone who actually GOT a result and didn't need to gut the little bugger. You tell me. How much of a resemblance do you see ?



There are various other examples of false advertising in knitting patterns, in which even if you do it right, it just looks wrong, or, worse, plug-ugly.

This is the adorable little rackety-coon from Kath Dalmeny's World of Knitted Toys, a rather basic pattern book which generally speaking yields poor results.




This is the rackety-coon as knitted, and not by me. You can see how out-of-proportion it is, though it's obviously neatly-knitted and nicely stuffed and sewn together. In fact, this photo was actually displayed as an example on an Etsy ad for buying the pattern. You tell me: does this look like a raccoon, or a paraplegic anteater?




This is the one that all the kids wanted, an adorable panda that looks much more naturalistic than the teddy pandas of  most patterns. This is another Kath Dalmeny optical illusion.








And again, let me reassure you that this is a well-knitted piece (though not by me).  I'm not criticizing anyone's knitting. But this is not a panda. The legs are like stilts. The nose is far too pointed, and the shape of the body is more piglike than pandalike.

This was the pattern I used for the poor panda that I stabbed to death with scissors before gutting it so I could recycle its stuffing.

And I could go on, but I'm giving the squirrel another try, using elements from three different patterns: the arms and legs from Knit One, Squirrel Two; the feet from a pattern called Tweed Toads (which worked out for me:  I have a Tweed Toad sitting on a knitted lily pad on my printer);  and the body from a nice little Santa Squirrel thing, minus the red outfit. I don't yet know how I am going to make the tail.



The ghost in the workroom: George appears to Ira


     

Quite a long time ago I wrote in my diary, “George is a spook”. I wasn’t quite sure what I meant by that. Then, in one of the better GG bios, I read this:

“As Ira grew older, he became not less but more obsessed with George. When he was in his eighties, Michael Feinstein, who had become something of a surrogate son to him, heard him talking to George in his sleep. These were, according to Feinstein, “lengthy conversations” that were “often filled with anger, centering around Ira’s desire not to stay here on earth and George’s insistence that he stay”. Just before Ira’s death in 1983, he revealed to Feinstein in a hushed voice something he had never told anyone else. Shortly after George’s passing, he had looked into his brother’s workroom upstairs at 1019 North Roxbury and seen him “sitting on the sofa, smiling and nodding to me. It terrified me. I wasn’t drinking. I wasn’t drunk. But I saw him.”

This may have started the whole thing for me, because I had consciously forgotten it. George died in 1937, Ira in 1983. It looks like maybe the one who was “stuck” was Ira, and George was trying to help him get unstuck. Ironic, since GG went far too soon, and because of the horrific manner of his dying, didn’t really know what was happening to him. Ira was a very practical, down-to-earth businessman who just happened to be a genius lyricist, and this wasn’t some wraithlike, ghostly apparition, but GG sitting happily in his workroom, his sanctuary and favorite place, smiling and nodding: “see, I’m OK, don’t worry about me.” Ira unfortunately had the same reaction to “ghosts” that most people do: terror, and thinking “I’m going crazy”. It’s interesting this wasn’t just an impression but a real 3D, solid appearance of someone who was dead. I also had the thought, though, that GG always kept his wounded side turned away from view, and it could be that he was appearing to be happy for Ira’s sake. Understandable, if Ira wanted to die. They protected each other to an extraordinary degree. 



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