Wednesday, November 14, 2018

How to delete your life

69-Year-Old Dutch Man Identifies As “Age Fluid” And Seeks To Legally Change His Age By 20 Years

By Bernadette Deron
Published November 12, 2018

He claims that his biological age does not reflect his emotional age, and is hurting his chances with women on Tinder.

69-year-old Dutch “positivity guru”, Emile Ratelband, has embarked on a legal battle in the Netherlands to legally make his age 20 years younger.

Born on March 11, 1949, Ratelband wishes to change his birth date to March 11, 1969.

Ratelband is a motivational speaker and trainer in neuro-linguistic programming. He said in a courtroom in the city of Arnhem in the eastern Dutch province of Gelderland recently that he doesn’t feel “comfortable” with his date of birth. Instead, Emile Ratelband wishes to be identified as 20 years his junior. He believes this age change will enable him to go back to work and to achieve more success in his personal life.

The guru feels that he is discriminated against on dating apps like Tinder because of his age. He continues that his advanced age is not reflective of either his character or physical well-being:

“I have done a check-up and what does it show? My biological age is 45 years. When I’m 69, I am limited. If I’m 49, then I can buy a new house, drive a different car. I can take up more work. When I’m on Tinder and it says I’m 69, I don’t get an answer. When I’m 49, with the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position.”

Emile Ratelband added that if transgender people are allowed to undergo a sex change operation and identify as a different gender, then if he identifies as a different age he should thus be allowed to change his date of birth:

“Transgenders can now have their gender changed on their birth certificate, and in the same spirit there should be room for an age change.”

The judge apparently seemed to be somewhat sympathetic to Ratelband’s cause. He noted that the concept of legally changing one’s gender was once completely unthinkable:

“I agree with you,” the judge said, “a lot of years ago we thought that was impossible.”

But the judge also recognized that there would ensue negative consequences from changing one’s date of birth, namely that the process would effectively delete a massive chunk of one’s life.

The judge asked Emile Ratelband what would happen to the early years of his life, from 1949 to 1969, should his request be granted: “For whom did your parents care? Who was that little boy then?”

"With the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position" - E. Ratelband

Emile Ratelband nullified this statement and responded that both his parents are dead. He argued that his legal age-change would actually be good for the government, as he would not seek his pension until he reaches the country’s retirement age again, 20 years down the line.

As ridiculous as the argument sounds, Ratelband’s court battle has actually tested the limits of individual human rights.

Indeed, at the end of the 45-minute court session, Emile Ratelband stated that his case is “really a question of free will.”

The court is scheduled to submit a written ruling in early December 2018.

BLOGGER'S BLOTTER. About this, I just don't know what to say. I'd rather say nothing and call it a day, but feel called upon to say something.

This guy is just squirrely enough (see squirrel picture) to be taken seriously: that is, taken to mean that he means it. With his weaselly sense of influence, of entitlement, of agency, he might just pull this off.

It just means the Gabor sisters were around in the wrong era. Were they here today, they could just keep going back for more and more birth date changes, knocking off the decades, even if it meant having so many brow lifts they became airborne. But surely this is a sardonic view, written from the perspective of someone who has never experienced it.

We're in a position now where we can't say anything at all about any of this, however, which is the only reason I find this interesting at all. Is he really backhanding the whole transgender movement and trying to make it look ridiculous? Or is he - serious? Does he want to jam himself right in behind the thin edge of the wedge driven by transgender pioneers? Thus he'd reap all the rewards, without having to experience all that agony of soul.

If he has one.

Imagine seeing that face on Tinder. I don't care if he says he's 39 or 29 or even 19. He is a holy horror of a man. His website is hilarious: he claims to make "tailor-made presentations" to all sorts of businesses, meaning: look, pay me enough and I will say anything you want, even if I don't mean any of it at all.

A man for our times.

But really. Tinder, and such.  I'm too old for all that, but I hear it's a real meat market, and how fresh IS the meat of a man who is nearly 70?  For that matter, 50 is seriously pushing the best-before date.

No, it MUST be a joke. Or not? I heard about the first successful human head transplant on the news a few months ago, the item read straight, no horrors or commentary or anything. Just: here's what they're doing in the operating room, folks. My stomach dropped at the same time that my hair stood up. I was unable to look it up on the internet to see if it was true.

This guy may want some other organ transplanted. Or is it his brain, after all? Put that ugly pocked head on the body of a 29-year-old, and see how far he gets on Tinder.