Friday, June 7, 2013

The STRANGEST "separated at birth" ever seen!







If you've been following my blog for a while now - and I just fervently hope SOMEONE reads this, at least once in a while - you will have noticed my recurrent series, Separated at Birth. Anthony Perkins and Gregory Peck. Harold Lloyd and Jake Gyllenhaal. That sort of thing.

Well.





I stay up way too late sometimes and just look for things to muck around with to use on my blog. I love diddling around with images that move, but I like images that don't move too. I also wanted to see if I could find a good YouTube video on the Hapsburgs, preferably a comedy: Take it on the Chin Charlie, Louie the Lip and Friends, whatever. An animated series on King Charles II of Spain, also known as El Hexado because he was so fucking ugly, would have filled the bill, but all I could find was a very strange 2-minute "reconstruction" of the face of Marie Antoinette. 






I could find almost no information about this, but it started with the standard portrait of her and slowly morphed into something a lot more realistic. Someone in the comments section said something about a death mask, so it may have been reconstructed from that, though death masks, I find, generally aren't very flattering.

But as it slowly morphed, I cried into the void, "Hey. That's not Ms. Let-Them-Eat-Cake at all. That's Kaley Cuoco!"

Yes.

The adorable female lead on the hit comedy The Big Bang Theory, which is now on so many times a day that my DVR just can't keep up. I think it looks EXACTLY like her, or at least close enough, though Kaley definitely has Marie beat in the cheekbone department.





The comments under the video mentioned Marie's "Hapsburg lip", so like all the rest of those aristocratic swine she must've been hopelessly inbred. I don't see the lip here, but the picture's not in 3D, is it? I don't know if Kaley has any Hapsburg blood in her, and to be honest I've been trying to figure out just what sort of a name that is anyway - sounds kind of Portuguese. So now I'm off on yet another search.





SPECIAL Bonus Creep-o-rama Link! One of the creepiest links I've ever found, next to Victorian Post-Mortem Photography. In fact, this one is worse.


http://www.undyingfaces.com/info/

It has got THE WORST pictures of dead guys' faces all melted down, or with their mouths tied shut. I don't know when they stopped doing this shit, but there's one of Alfred Hitchcock that's just ridiculous, it looks so much like him.
There's also one of Timothy Leary (but I forgot to save it). To be honest, I thought they froze his head. I saw a video once of a bunch of scientists carting his severed head around. It was too sickening.











Special Post-Post Bonus-Bonus: There are all sorts of these creep-o sites, apparently, for sickos who like to look at death masks. Nobody WE know. This one is a sort of Greatest Hits list. But I'm beginning to be suspicious. Some of these masks are of rather murky provenance and might have turned up in some third-rate history prof's cellar in 1980 or something. One site even said, astonishingly, that it was clear Abraham Lincoln "had not been assassinated". Gee, then I wonder what all the fuss was about?








Some weird shit goin' on. . .









Harold gets jolted!




I TOLD you not to step on that wire!

Incredible word soup






Ducks on a pond, ducks on a pond
Very pretty swimming round
The lion and the unicorn journey very far








The answers are the question, sir
The lady soothes the lion's fur
Meek as a lamb he follows her
Wherever angels are

Sing me something









I asked the ice it would not say
But only cracked or moved away
I thought I knew me yesterday
Whoever sings this song





Greetings on you kings in the sky
Who'll buy me a mynah bird
Play me a magic word
Speak of hopes with thoughts absurd



Thoughts floating by
Little ducks, pretty birds
Clouds across the sky




Moving pieces on the plains of Troy
Carving faces on the rocks of joy
Pretty lady washing the tiles
Soapy pictures like crocodiles

Chilly winds blowing
Lovely spring coming soon










I wear my body like a caravan
Gipsy rover in a magic land
Misty mountains where the eagles fly
Lonely valleys where the lost ones cry





I had a little letter full of paper
Inky scratches everywhere
Always looking, looking for a paradise island
Help me find it everywhere




Peacocks talking of the colour grey
Awaking soundly in darkest day
A howling tempest on a silent sea
Lovely Jesus nailed to a tree




Mad as the moon when Merlin falls
Silver castles and silver halls
Taking lessons from the piper's son
Learn to play while the world is young





Boys and girls come out to play
The moon doth shine as bright as day
Leave your sorrows and leave your sleep
And join your playfellows in the street




Come with a whoop or come with a call
Come with a goodwill or not at all
Up the ladder and down the wall
A ha'penny loaf will serve for all




Following my fortune now the Holy Grail is found
And the Holy Bread of Heaven it is given all around
Farewell sorrow, praise God the open door
I ain't got no home in this world any more




Poor as the birds but to give their song away
Gathering possessions round to make a bright array
Dark was the night, praise God the open door
I ain't got no home in this world anymore.





Brighter every day





OK then, this is a mixup, but not really. All day yesterday (or I think it was the day before), I was thinking of that Incredible String Band song Ducks on a Pond. Makes sense, because all I did  that day was watch ducks/ducklings on a pond.

I wanted to post my homemade duckling gifs, video, etc. and wondered if the Ducks on a Pond song would be a good accompaniment. Well. . . I hadn't heard the Increds (as we called them back in 1968) for many,  many years, but I remembered they were best listened to when you were stoned out of your mind on hashish (with a side of cheap wine). I now see why. The Ducks song just goes on forever, and though it has some arresting images in it, it's just too crazy to include here.





But I found another one, much shorter and more - what, sprightly? Less stoner-rific? Like you can actually listen to it clean and sober. No ducks in it, but it's still a nice song.

So here it is. . . with ducks.

You Get Brighter

You get brighter every day and every time I see you
Scattered brightness in your way and you taught me how to love you






And I know you belong to everybody but you can't deny that I'm you
I know you belong to everybody but you can't deny that I'm you

In the morning when I wake I moor my boat and greet you
Hold your brightness in my eye and I wonder what does sleep do







For you get brighter every day and every time I see you
Scattered brightness in your way and you taught me how to love you

I know you belong to everybody but you can't deny that I'm you
I know you belong to everybody but you can't deny that I'm you

Oh, wondrous light
Light, light, lighter
You give all your brightness away
and it only makes you brighter






For you get brighter every day and every time I see you
Scattered brightness in your way and you taught me how to love you

And I know you belong to everybody but you can't deny that I'm you
I know you belong to everybody but you can't deny that I'm you

Krishna colours on the wall you taught me how to love you
Krishna colours on the wall you taught me how to love you
(repeat and repeat and repeat)







You get brighter 




Every




Day.